FightWrite™’s Find the Flaw

In this post with FightWrite™’ on the WD blog, we are going back to my wood-paneled and bell-bottom elementary school days with some Spot the Problem puzzles. These puzzles were all the rage at Pace Elementary. They were especially popular during the holidays as the holiday-themed illustrations were the best and wiggling-for-winter-break students were at their worst.

(Broken Nose Symptoms for Writers (FightWrite™))

The Spot the Problem puzzle was a coloring book style picture in which there were cleverly hidden items that didn’t make sense. For example, in a pumpkin patch there might be a basketball drawn amongst the gourds. Or, maybe the Thanksgiving turkey would have a sock on one leg.

Your Spot the Problem puzzles are in word form. You will be hunting for flaws in short fight/action scenes. All of the blunders are related to some aspect of fighting. There will be no issues of writing such as grammar, punctuation, spelling, or even pacing or style. Just keep your focus on anything to do with fighting or fight training.

In the three scenes, there are a total of 10 flaws. Each of the 10 will be revealed at the end and briefly explained. Also, I’ve purposely made them not too violent or gory.

Ready? Good! Have a seat on some shag carpet, put on a LP record and let’s find the flaws!

1. Minah raced across the parking lot to the boxing gym, nearly tripping over her flip-flops as she went. She was fighting for the title belt in six weeks and here she was late to warm up on her first day of training camp. It wasn’t a good look.

She grabbed her four-ounce gloves from her bag on her way in the door, then, in one swift movement, threw the duffle near the cubbies and kicked off her flip flops behind her. The slap of her bare feet on the floor echoed through the vacant gym as she ran toward the boxing ring. Thank heavens, she thought, her coach nowhere in sight.

She had barely pulled her gloves over her bare-knuckled hands before someone called out to her.

“Hey, champ!”

Minah smiled, turned, then stumbled back against the force of the woman crashing into her. The ring behind Minah caught her fall and she stayed on her feet for a moment before sliding down to sitting.

She looked down at her shirt and hands, then sat slack-jawed as her coach ran from the gym and her warm blood ran down to the floor.

2. The mugger caught up to Sarah and pushed her hard. She fell and hit the sidewalk face down with a smack. The hot, summer cement bit into her chin and the palms of her hands. Her top teeth impaled her bottom lip.

Still breathless from the fall, Sarah did her best to punch and kick the man who stood over her.

He laughed, put a knee on her back and pinned her right arm behind her. “I’ll be taking this,” he said, then snatched the diamond watch from her wrist. “Oh, and by the way,” he paused to push himself up to his feet. Sarah grunted under his weight. “Tell your mom she owes me one.”

3. The third punch knocked two teeth loose. Joe pushed against the little incisors with his tongue, then spit them out. They landed with light taps on the floor. “Those were my favorite teeth,” he said, then stuck out his bottom lip. Blood and spittle dribbled down his chin.

The giant of a man stepped forward and looked down at Joe. “You think this is some kind of joke?”

Joe wiped his mouth, then shrugged before stepping back and elbowing the man the man in the ear. The man blinked with the impact, but that was all.

“Now, that’s a prob—,” Joe started. His words choked to a wheeze as the man grabbed him by the throat. Joe gurgled, gasped and kicked as his neck took the weight of his body and his toes left the floor.

“Wait,” Joe said, his voice hissing and legs dangling. He grabbed the man’s wrist with both hands and pulled up to get a breath, not daring to let go for fear his neck would break. “I…got something…for you.”

The man narrowed his eyes in question.

Joe smiled then coughed strings of spittle. “I…I got this.”

With a grunt, Joe threw his legs up and wrapped them around the man’s neck, squeezing with every ounce of strength that he had left. Stunned, the man let go of Joe’s throat to protect his own. A minute later, the man’s knees buckled and he fell face down, unconscious. 

Joe scooted away, caught his breath, then said, “And that’s what happens when you cut in line at the coffee shop.”

Amazon
[WD uses affiliate links.]

Three problems. One: Minah is using four-ounce gloves which are for MMA not adult boxing. Two: She runs barefoot to the ring. Boxers wear boxing shoes. Three: She has bare hands under his gloves. Fighters wrap their hands.

One problem. Sarah is pushed down and lands on her stomach yet punches and kicks at the thief. How could she punch or kick him if she is facing the ground?

Buckle up. These six flaws are fairly technical.

Flaw one: Because the man is so much taller than Joe, Joe wouldn’t be able to hit the man’s ear with an elbow. The highest an elbow can be thrown, without jumping, is the height of the throwers own head. I saw this exact scenario in a well-known thriller book. Loved the book. Love the writer. The elbow? Not so much.  

Two: Unless you are Darth Vader or supernatural in some way, you can’t lift a human by their neck like that and not just because the neck isn’t made to hold the body’s weight. It has to do with strength and physics. Holding even just half of one’s weight out in front of the body with one hand requires a shocking amount of strength. Even if you have the strength, physics would cause the holder’s body to tip forward. Trust me on this. I have tried it.

Three: Joe’s choking the man with his legs is problematic. To choke the man unconscious, Joe has to choke the blood supply on both sides of the man’s neck. That is why the technique is called a choke. It chokes off the blood flow to the brain. Joe could accomplish that with an arm-in or arm-out choke. Both types of technique would require Joe to pull the big man in close or at least get his knees on either side of the man’s neck which would require a good bend in the big guy’s elbow. He didn’t achieve that bend that we know of.

Four: But let’s say he did bend the man’s elbow. It wouldn’t matter because as soon as the big man let go of Joe’s neck, Joe’s upper body would drop changing the position of his legs. That would negate the angle of just about any choke he might have on the guy.

Five: The big man drops forward. Where the heck did toothless Joe go? How did the guy not fall on him?

Six: It doesn’t take a full minute to choke someone out. It’s more like 10 seconds. I doubt the big man would just let Joe grip him like an angry crawdad for a minute without fighting back successfully. A writer would have to give a good reason why the man just stands there as his consciousness slips away.

Most of the issues with these fight scenes go back to specialized knowledge. Whenever you have a character who has specialized knowledge in anything, be it fighting or frying chicken, you need to have enough of that specialized knowledge yourself if you mean to go in depth on the matter. If you mention that the granny is frying chicken, and that’s all you say about it, that’s fine. If you say she tosses a chicken leg into the hot oil, that’s a lack of technical knowledge. You don’t toss anything into hot oil.

When writing your fight scene, the less technical you get, the less problems you run into. Besides, readers seem to care more about what happened than how it happened. That said, you should have enough technical knowledge to make your story believable. If your MC is a boxer and you write a scene with them training, you should know they wear boxing shoes, wrap their hands and the weight of their gloves.

How do you get specialized knowledge? You talk to someone with that knowledge. You can also buy my books or reach out to me for a mentor appointment. (You had to know that was coming.) With a little time to prep, I can talk you through just about anything to do with any type of fight scene/scenario. I can also talk you through frying chicken. 

November is an especially beautiful month here in the U.S. as it is when we celebrate Thanksgiving. As the name suggests, the holiday focuses on gratitude. I am deeply grateful for both Writer’s Digest and, you, its readers. If you need any help with your fight scene, please reach out. I truly enjoy it and am grateful for the opportunity.

Until the next round with FightWrite™’ on the WD blog, thank you for simply being you.