Social Media and Writer Anxiety: Managing the Comparison Trap
Even without social media, most writers compare themselves to others. Deanna Martinez-Bey shares strategies for managing the comparison trap.
In an industry built on creativity, vulnerability, and visibility, writers often find themselves wrestling with an unexpected opponent: social media. Platforms meant to inspire connection can just as easily spark anxiety, self-doubt, and unhealthy comparison. Watching other writers announce book deals, share milestone word counts, or celebrate glowing reviews can leave even seasoned authors wondering if they are falling behind.
But comparison does not have to be part of the writing life. With intention and awareness, writers can build a healthier relationship with social media—one that supports their creativity rather than drains it.
The Comparison Trap: Why Writers Feel It So Deeply
Writers are uniquely susceptible to comparison spirals because creative work is personal. Every post can feel like proof that someone else is doing “better.” Common triggers include:
- Book deal / Release announcements
- High sales numbers or bestseller lists
- Aesthetic writing routines posted online
- Daily word-count achievements
- Engagement on posts or TikTok virality
- Agent signing celebrations
When writers see others succeeding, it’s easy to interpret it as personal failure—even when that’s far from the truth.
The Reality: Social Media Isn’t the Full Story
Social media shows only a sliver of the writing life. What writers don’t see:
- Rejections that happened before the win
- Silent months of low creativity
- Drafts abandoned or rewritten multiple times
- Marketing budgets behind viral moments
- The team of people supporting an author
- How long the post’s author has been in the industry
Reminding themselves that no one posts the whole picture helps writers regain perspective.
Staying Grounded: Mindset Shifts That Help
Writers can retrain themselves to approach social media differently. These mindset strategies help keep anxiety in check:
- Celebrate others without self-judgment. Someone else’s success is not evidence of your failure.
- Remember that timelines vary. No two writers walk the same creative path.
- Define personal success. Likes and shares are not the measure of a writer’s worth.
- Honor the creative process. Writing takes time—much more time than an Instagram post implies.
- Focus on craft, not comparison. The real work happens off-screen.
Using Social Media With Intention
Writers don’t need to abandon social media—they need to use it mindfully. Intention shifts the experience from draining to empowering.
Set Boundaries
- Limit scroll time.
- Mute accounts that trigger comparison.
- Disable notifications.
- Designate “offline creativity” hours.
Curate Your Feed
- Follow accounts that inspire, educate, or uplift.
- Add non-writing interests to break up the intensity.
- Engage with content that genuinely fuels creativity.
Create Before You Consume
- Write your post, draft, or chapter before checking other people’s updates.
- Protect your creativity from external noise.
Use Social Media as a Tool, Not a Mirror
- Treat it like a professional platform, not a measurement of talent.
- Post what aligns with your values and goals—not what you think will perform.
When Comparison Creeps In: Quick Reset Practices
Even intentional writers will feel the pull of comparison now and then. These quick resets can help:
- Step away from the app for five minutes.
- Journal the emotion—don’t stuff it down.
- Practice deep breathing or grounding exercises.
- Refocus on a writing goal that is within your control.
- Remind yourself of your accomplishments—even the quiet ones.
Social media isn’t the enemy, but the way writers engage with it matters. The comparison trap loses its power when writers remember that every journey is unique, every voice is needed, and every story unfolds on its own timeline.
Deanna Martinez-Bey is an author, social media manager, copy editor, and freelance writer. With 18 published books under her belt and articles published in multiple magazines and online, Deanna surrounds herself with books and writing on many levels. She believes that people bond over good food and books! Follow her on Amazon: Amazon Author Page
