A Cold Where You (Fill in the Blank) Instead of Sneeze

You've developed a cold only to discover that instead of sneezing, you (blank) every time feel like you have to sneeze. This side effect proves to create a fairly entertaining scene at the office with coworkers during your weekly budget meeting. Write this scene.
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You've developed a cold only to discover that instead of sneezing, you (fill in the blank) every time feel like you have to sneeze. This side effect proves to create a fairly entertaining scene at the office with coworkers during your weekly budget meeting. Write this scene.

Post your response (500 words or fewer) in the comments below.