Writing a Travel Memoir Is a Journey of Research and Relationships

When I traveled solo to Ireland for the first time I had no idea that I would be making three more trips within the next seven years. I didn’t realize that I was on a journey of self-discovery that would change my life. I certainly didn’t realize that I would go on to write and publish a memoir about my journey of self-discovery––a memoir that would lay bare the pain of my father’s suicide when I was 10 years old, the persistent mild depression that prevented me from fully experiencing life’s joys, and the anger and betrayal I felt when my 22-year-long marriage ended in divorce.

(Learning to Take Up Space as a Writer.)

Through those travels I learned to fight the fear that was holding me back and do it anyway. I learned that my journeys throughout the beautiful Irish countryside gave me the self-confidence I desperately needed to move forward.

I could have traveled anywhere, but I chose Ireland as my destination because my study of Celtic spirituality, history, literature, and music convinced me that Ireland was my spiritual home. I devoured books by my favorite Irish writers––William Butler Yeats, James Joyce, and Seamus Heaney, among others––as well as memoirs by Niall Williams and Pete McCarthy. While listening to my favorite Irish musicians, I longed to tap my feet to live Irish music in a cozy pub while sipping an Irish coffee.

After months of sitting at my computer in my pj’s doing research, I made travel plans for “fly and drive” packages that included airfare, car rental, and travel vouchers for farmhouse bed and breakfasts. I preferred the freedom of traveling alone on my own schedule as opposed to a group bus tour of popular tourist spots. I wanted to see the real Ireland, get to know its people and immerse myself in its rich culture of music, pub life, and natural beauty.

My research told me that Ireland was a safe place for women to travel alone, notwithstanding of course the universal travel necessity of being on guard and aware of one’s surroundings. Not having any language barrier, other than Gaelic street signs in some regions and thick Irish accents in the more rural areas, gave Ireland an advantage over non-English-speaking countries.

However, no amount of research could have prepared me for the terrifying experience of driving on Ireland’s narrow, curvy roads. No driving instructions were given at the car rental place. I was handed the keys and let loose. Not only did I have to learn to stay on the other side of the road, but after one mishap with shouts of “Woman, yer going the wrong way!” I learned to enter a roundabout clockwise instead of counterclockwise.

In the days before GPS became the norm, I was both the driver and the navigator. I taped directions to my dashboard, hoping for the best, but I still had to make frequent stops to ask for assistance and to verify that I was on the correct road. One time I was saved by a dairy delivery driver when I took the wrong exit and got lost in the foothills of the Brendan Mountains in County Kerry. Driving became less frantic with each visit, but it continued to require my full attention and left me exhausted. Still, I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

I kept a journal during my travels and made myself write in it every day whether I felt like it or not. Again, I didn’t know that I would be using those journals as a primary source for my memoir, but I sensed that my journey was a life-changing event that should be recorded. Nothing fancy, just a notebook for each trip and some ballpoint pens.

Those journals proved to be invaluable while writing my memoir. I can’t imagine how arduous the writing process would have been without them. I also researched the places I had visited for historical background. I didn’t take a laptop with me until my last trip when I was on a writing retreat and also editing photos. Instead, I stopped at internet cafes to post about my journey and to communicate with family and friends back home.

Through many moments of synchronicity I was introduced to new friends who lived in Ireland or traveled there frequently. Many of the most memorable scenes in my memoir are about visits with these gracious souls who continue to be a source of inspiration and friendship. My memoir would be dull without them. I contacted these friends frequently when I experienced memory lapses for information that my journals couldn’t provide, such as correct spellings of names and places. I changed the names of those not already in the public eye in order to protect their privacy. I sent advanced reader copies to those who were well-known so that they would have a heads up on what was coming. I didn’t want any surprises or misunderstandings. Fortunately, I haven’t received any negative feedback so far.

In the years following my Irish excursions I took writing classes and attended conferences at both the Indiana Writers Center and the Midwest Writers Workshop. One of my most memorable classes was at the IWC with writer Dan Wakefield. Having recently relocated to his hometown of Indianapolis, Dan spent his final years teaching and regaling us with stories about his friendships with Kurt Vonnegut and James Baldwin. He was an exceptional teacher and mentor, and I will be forever grateful to him for making me a better writer.

Another life-changing moment came when, on the recommendation of a writer friend, I attended the Haven Writing Retreats in Montana. Led by bestselling author and teacher extraordinaire, Laura Munson, these small workshops brought me into a community of writers who have been integral in supporting me on my writing journey. I’ve maintained friendships with many of them and a small group of us meet monthly on Zoom to discuss and critique one another’s work. They continue to be my cheerleaders and beta readers. Laura was the first to recognize that a series of essays I had written about my Irish adventures was actually a memoir and that I should “dig deeper.” She became my editor and trusted friend and introduced me to Brooke Warner, founder of She Writes Press, who would later become my publisher. Brooke and her exceptional staff at SWP are always there to take my hand and lead me along the often-harrowing maze of book publishing.

Writing a book is often a lonely pursuit filled with negative self-talk and lingering doubt about one’s writing ability. I am grateful that I remained open to new experiences and fortunate to have found a supportive writing community. I believe that in order to guide one’s book to the finish line, such a support system is crucial. Indeed, it does take a village to write a book.

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