Fondling Your Muse

Infallible Advice from a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant
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Fondling Your Muse

Infallible Advice from a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant
by John Warner
Writer's Digest Books, 2005
ISBN 1-58297-348-2
$19.99 hardcover, 192 pages

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From the Preface
Writing is a solitary and often scary enterprise. I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people.

Praise for the Book
“Fondling Your Muse is brilliant in the same way the most distant of stars in the galaxy are brilliant. If it’s a really clear night and you look just right and tilt your head to the side and squint, your sort of see it.”
—Dave Eggers

“Forget The Artist’s Way! Fondling Your Muse should be the bible for all aspiring scribblers. Or anyone. There’s wisdom here for the whole human family. I’m an unknown writer with middling book sales who can barely pay the rent, but after reading this book, you’ll soon be seeing my name everywhere and reading more than just my blurbs! This is a great and hilarious book!”
—Jonathan Ames, author of Wake UP, Sir!

“Move over John Grisham. Fondling Your Muse is a thrilling roller coaster ride that will leave you gasping for air and vomiting into the nearest trash bin.”
—Michael Ian Black, actor

About the Author
John Warner is the editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and the co-author, with Kevin Guilfoile, of My First Presidency: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush. His work has been published in McSweeney’s quarterly journal, Modern Humorist,, and Zoetrope, McSweeney’s humor anthology, Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans.