Skip to main content

Fictional Characters Most Likely to Be on the Receiving End of the St. Martin's Marijuana Shipment

Pinocchio, off to the clink

Pinocchio, off to the clink

If you've been keeping up with the publishing world this week, you've no doubt heard the mysterious story that's been dominating it: Someone sent 11 pounds of marijuana to a fake recipient at St. Martin's Press in New York. The feds intercepted it. (For the story that spawned the #PotLit hashtag, click here.)

Who was the shipment supposed to go to?

Was it bound for a wayward editor? A disgruntled assistant? A desperate intern?

No. It was probably on its way to one of parent company Macmillan's characters who think they can get away with anything. Specifically, someone from the Tor Classics line, which is run out of the Flatiron Building with St. Martin's.

Here, in our estimation, are the most likely suspects:

Ebenezer Scrooge, of A Christmas Carol fame: There's a reason a curmudgeon would get really, really slaphappy, introspective and nice for a day. (Not to mention see ghosts.)

Dracula: This guy has always been up to no good, and everyone has known it for a long time. Plus, he's insanely old, and has glaucoma. And we know what insanely old vampires use to treat their glaucoma.

Dude! Rip!

Dude! Rip!

Ahab, of Moby-Dick fame: He believes it helps with his OCD. Fair to say however that this could also be the root of his more irrational escapades.

Rip Van Winkle: How else do you think he slept for 20 years? (When he awoke, he was pleased to discover that cheese puffs and Nutella had been invented in the interim.)

Tom Sawyer: Fairly obvious. Forever a rapscallion.

Everyone in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: Notably the bong-smoking caterpillar.

Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde: Posterboy for the perils of drug use.

Everyone in The Wizard of Oz: See Everyone in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, replace “caterpillar” with anyone and everyone obsessed with wizards.

Billy Budd, From Melville’s Billy Budd: Forever upset about being overlooked and trumped by albino whales and gentlemen with one leg, Billy Budd developed unsavory coping mechanisms.

"I'm a free spirit."

"I'm a free spirit."

Frankenstein: Because of the daddy issues.

Pinocchio: Geppetto knew he should have been more concerned with his creation’s red eyes than his elongated nose and strong urges to talk to insects.

Oliver Twist: See Tom Sawyer. Also explains why he kept asking Mr. Bumble for more food.

(Are we overlooking someone? Which fictional character do you think would have called in the shipment?)

Images: Rip Van Winkle By Thomas Nast [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. Caterpillar by Sir John Tenniel (“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” (1865)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.


Right now we're offering $15 off all of our workshops! Enter code MAR12 at checkout. We're also gearing up for our Annual Writing Competition. Enter today for a chance to win $3,000 and a trip to the Writer's Digest Conference in New York.

writer's digest wd presents

WD Presents: 6 WDU Courses, an Upcoming Virtual Conference, and More!

This week, we’re excited to announce six new WDU courses, a romance writing virtual conference, and more!

Going From Me to We: Collaborating on the Writing of a Novel

Going From Me to We: Collaborating on the Writing of a Novel

Past experiences taught bestselling author Alan Russell to tread lightly when it came to collaborating on projects. Here, he discusses how the right person and the right story helped him go from a “me” to a “we.”

From Script

Short Film Goals, Writing the Cinematic Experience on the Page and Sundance Film Festival 2022 (From Script)

In this week’s round up brought to us by Script magazine, set your creative goals with a monthly guide to write and produce your short film, provided by Script contributor Rebecca Norris Resnick. Plus, an exclusive interview with Academy Award-winning screenwriter William Monahan, a Sundance Film Festival 2022 day one recap, and more!

Your Story Writing Prompts

94 Your Story Writing Prompts

Due to popular demand, we've assembled all the Your Story writing prompts on in one post. Click the link to find each prompt, the winners, and more.

How Inspiration and Research Shape a Novel

How Inspiration and Research Shape a Novel

Historical fiction relies on research to help a story’s authenticity—but it can also lead to developments in the story itself. Here, author Lora Davies discusses how inspiration and research helped shape her new novel, The Widow’s Last Secret.

Poetic Forms

Saraband: Poetic Forms

Poetic Form Fridays are made to share various poetic forms. This week, we look at the saraband, a septet (or seven-line) form based on a forbidden dance.

Karen Hamilton: On Cause and Effect

Karen Hamilton: On Cause and Effect

International bestselling author Karen Hamilton discusses the “then and now” format of her new domestic thriller, The Ex-Husband.

Plot Twist Story Prompts: The Ultimatum

Plot Twist Story Prompts: The Ultimatum

Every good story needs a nice (or not so nice) turn or two to keep it interesting. This week, have a character give or face an ultimatum.

6 Things Every Writer Should Know About Sylvia Beach and Shakespeare and Company

6 Things Every Writer Should Know About Sylvia Beach and Shakespeare and Company

Sylvia Beach was friend to many writers who wrote what we consider classics today. Here, author Kerri Maher shares six things everyone should know about her and Shakespeare and Company.