Winners Announced: The 'Worst Storyline Ever' Contest

Publish date:

Thanks to all who entered the second-ever "Worst Storyline Contest" here on the GLA blog. We got tons of entries! The judging is over and the winning lines are below (as well as some commentary from me). Special thanks to several WD and WD Books staffers who weighed in on the judging, and congrats to all the winners.

"Worst Storyline Ever"

Contest Winners


"After an unidentified cow swallows an armed nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a moo-clear disaster."
- Livia Blackburne

Chuck says: Out of all the finalists, this one was the one that got the most praise from judges weighing in. I think everyone just fell in love with the last little joke. Livia wins a query critique from me and some free WD books. Way to go, Livia! (Check out Livia's blog where she combines her love of creative writing and neuroscience.)

TWO RUNNERS UP (in no particular order):

"When a cannibalistic bonsai tree runs rampant at the local Walmart garden center, it's up to pimple-faced stock boy to step in on a quest to save all cheap garden enthusiasts everywhere using way too much Miracle Grow and the magic pruning shears, and maybe score a date with that cute cashier on lane eight."
- Kathryn Martin

"A young woman discovers she is half unicorn after farting a rainbow at her bat mitzvah, and must go on a hijinx-filled voyage of self discovery to find her real father and fit as 'one of the herd.' "
- Rebecca Knight

OTHER FINALISTS(in no particular order)

(No prizes for these, but I had
to include them because they're hilarious)

- "A self-aware taco salad travels through the harsh urban jungles of his hometown, across the oceans of discontent, to the mountains of Tibet on a quest for enlightenment, love, meaning, and a reasonably good-tasting low-fat sour cream substitute."
- Marie Hix

- "When Sparky the Squirrel wakes up without his nuts, he leaves the safety of his tree and makes the journey back to the scene of the crime, the veterinarian's office, to recover them."
- Tracy Hamilton

- "True love intrudes on Rodney Staff's assault against the Guinness Book record for vasectomy reversals."
- Dave Diotalevi

- "Can Joey, who becomes wheelchair bound in a freak car accident involving cotton candy, find lyrics for a country and western song by traveling in his power chair the 486 miles from one side of the state to the other even though he has to stop and recharge his battery every six miles?"
- L. Ell

- "Leonard the narcoleptic snail sets out on his lifelong dream of running the Boston Marathon while humming 'Macarena,' and invites you to join the excitement in real time."
- Steve Forti

Congrats again to all the winners!!!

John B. Thompson | Book Wars

John B. Thompson: On Researching Changes in the Book Publishing Industry

John B. Thompson, author of the new book Book Wars, shares the research that went into his account of how the digital revolution changed publishing for readers and writers.

From Script

Supporting AAPI Storytellers and Tapping into Mythical World Building (From Script)

In this week’s round-up from, meet South-East-Asian-American filmmakers and screenwriters, plus interviews with screenwriter Emma Needell and comic book writer/artist Matt Kindt, TV medical advisor Dr. Oren Gottfried, and more!

What Is a Personal Essay in Writing?

What Is a Personal Essay in Writing?

In this post, we look at what a personal essay (also known as the narrative essay) is, including what makes it different from other types of fiction and nonfiction writing, examples of effective personal essays, and more.

FightWrite™: How Do People Who Don’t Know How to Fight, Fight?

FightWrite™: How Do People Who Don’t Know How to Fight, Fight?

If your character isn't a trained fighter but the scene calls for a fight, how can you make the scene realistic? Author and trained fighter Carla Hoch has the answers for writers here.

April PAD Challenge

30 Poetry Prompts for the 2021 April PAD Challenge

Find all 30 poetry prompts for the 2021 April Poem-A-Day Challenge in this post.

The Problem of Solving a Mystery When You're the Prime Suspect

The Problem of Solving a Mystery When You're the Prime Suspect

Mia P. Manansala, author of Arsenic & Adobo, explains how writers can help their main character solve a mystery when they're the prime suspect.

Mistakes Writers Make: Not Using Your Spare 15 Minutes

Mistakes Writers Make: Not Using Your Spare 15 Minutes

The Writer's Digest team has witnessed many writing mistakes over the years, so we started this series to help identify them for other writers (along with correction strategies). This week's writing mistake writers make is not using your spare 15 minutes.

Plot Twist Story Prompts: Unexpected Visitor

Plot Twist Story Prompts: Unexpected Visitor

Every good story needs a nice (or not so nice) turn or two to keep it interesting. This week, invite an unexpected visitor into your story.

7 Tips for Writing a Near Future Dystopian Novel

7 Tips for Writing a Near-Future Dystopian Novel

In this article, debut author Christina Sweeney-Baird explains how writers can expertly craft a near-future dystopian novel.