Jellinek & Murray, and Other Agencies That Don't Want to Be Contacted

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This post is just for those special few who have struggled to contact an agency such as Jellinek & Murray, an agency in Hawaii that no one, apparently, can ever get a hold of. I just got another e-mail about this exact thing.

My take on the subject is this: There are plenty of agencies out there who do not
want to be contacted by writers. When an agency makes it extremely
difficult to contact them or submit materials, this is a clue that they
don't want to even hear from you. Jellinek & Murray seems like a
perfect fit into this little category.

Jellinek & Murray is indeed a real and active agency, as evidenced by the fact that the agents are always part of the Maui Writers' Conference - a reputable event that Writer's Digest actually co-sponsors. I've tried to e-mail them in the past and I either get an invalid e-mail address reply or no reply at all. I've tried phone calls, but no luck with that either. I seem to remember snail mail working in the past, but I could be imagining it.

If you look through any edition of Guide to Literary Agents, you will see a small percentage of agency listings that are relatively scant, and don't even include an agency Web site. These are agencies who won't give us more information even when we ask. The more information they give - such as how to submit and what they're looking for and what they've sold - means more submissions to them, and they obviously don't want that. They likely have a healthy list of money-making clients and don't want to deal with slush.

The point here is this: If an agency is hiding, they don't want to be found.

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Can I go to Maui this year?