Writing is seduction. Writing is war. Writing is scary and sublime. Even if you don't get published, writing will help you figure out almost everything: subject, emotion, and spirit.
We scribblers can help ourselves. Whatever comes into our heads we put on paper. The good and the bad. We report first to ourselves, and then to anyone who will listen.
In the process of telling the truth, we become better, but not without facing the pain of that truth.
Be strong and face it.
Writing works as therapy, for you and for your readers.