3 Secrets of Balancing Life With Writing
Author Court Stevens shares her three secrets of living a full life while still finding time to have a writing career.
The question I get asked the most about my writing career isn’t where do I get my ideas from? (Although that is a close second.) The most prevalent question I am asked is how do you do it all?
Most of the time people are asking because they’ve heard that I am the executive director of Warren County Public Library and that I’m in a doctoral program and that I run a leadership consulting business and that I travel and speak across the state and country and that I own a little hobby farm and…Oh, I also write books.
“How do you do it all?” asks the busy mom from row two at an event who dreams of being the next Kristin Hannah.
“How do you do it all?” asks the young professional who is up to their neck in a new career but also wants to write a book.
“How do you do it all?” asks the CEO of a company who is drowning in administration paperwork but secretly wants to write thrillers.
These people are not just asking where do you find the time, although time is certainly part of the equation and inquiry. They’re asking about the juggling act of moving between the various elements of my life. So I thought I would take a little time today and share a few of the secrets I use to toggle life around and get writing done.
Plan in Seasons
One, I think and plan in seasons.
For instance, summer reading is the biggest time of the year for my library job so April to mid-July is 90% library focused and 10% something else. That might mean that I do not write at all from April to July. I do not force my brain to hold everything all at once at the same level of intensity.
Prioritize People
Two, I prioritize people even when it doesn’t make sense.
Now, listen, I’m a hard-core introvert who enjoys a vacation alone, but I am also a human in need of deep and abiding connection. More than that, I’ve come to understand that I have more lasting guilt around disappointing people than I do for failing at projects and time management. Guilt takes up an enormous amount of emotional energy and time. If I put people first, I maximize focus time and creative energy for projects. Anything that limits guilt will help you toggle.
So…parents out there, it’s not…I need to throw a birthday party for my kid but I’d rather write and I spend an hour feeling terrible for that fact. It’s…throw a great birthday party, love fully and be wildly present, put your kid to bed, write for 15 minutes out of the overflow of joy. I think you’ll find that those 15 minutes of emotionally clear time are better than the swirl and pressure of guilt for secretly wanting more alone time.
Reduce What You Hate
Three, reduce the things you hate doing.
This one sounds logical but you would be shocked at the number of people who will admit to hating primary aspects of their lives. Like their job. Or a primary relationship. Or a volunteer role they were looped into three years ago. We believe we are stuck when we are merely duct taped into relationships with things we hate because we’re scared of disappointing others. I am a chronic people pleaser, so this is a huge temptation for me.
Feeling stuck sucks the energy out of my life and my creativity. Now, you might be thinking, Court, I have to pay bills, so I have to work. That’s true. The choice is how you accomplish paying bills. How I accomplish the necessary things is the key to personal agency. You want to get to a place where how you do the things in your life is happening by choice rather than default or disappointment avoidance.
From this mindset, I can confidently say that I don’t have to be a library director and writer and hobby farmer and speaker in order to sleep indoors. I currently want these obligations to be how I make money and spend time. And so when those obligations are in front of me, they bring me joy. Joy is energy. Energy is life. Life ends up in my books.
I think most creatives are scared of not having enough time to make art, but I’m more scared of not having enough life to make new art. And so I choose life and let the art come. Try it. You might be surprised by how much you get done.
