Terrible Concert

You’ve just been to the worst rock concert of your life. You’re at a bar with friends, drowning your disgust, when the lead singer of the band shows up and offers to buy you a drink. You agree to under one condition—and that deal leads to one memorable night.

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234 thoughts on “Terrible Concert

  1. Miss Jeeter

    I was about to down that foamy beer on the bar before me when a hard slap on the back knocked me right into it. It was bad enough I had just witnesed the worst nightmare of a concert in history and now some nut wanted to pick a fight. So, go for it, I was ready.

    “Hey dude, remember me? Joey from Biology 123? I’m lead singer for the Biojets. Let buy you a drink to celebrate my concert and running into you again after all these years.”

    “How could I every forget you, Joey from Bio 123…You know what? You can buy me a drink – on one condition.” Memories. Bio 123 was my worst class, partially because of Joey. The class clown, goof-off and teacher’s pet all rolled into one glorious hunk of garbage that the girls all went ga-ta over. That was thirty years ago.

    “Sure pal. Whatever you want, it is yours.” He gave me his famous curtsy, which usually meant ‘you are fixing to go down bro.’

    “I want my own private concert – right here – right now – on the bar.”

    “No problem, but not without my costume.” Joey was trying to back out on the deal. “Why don’t we just talk over old times over our beers?”

    “Come on, Joey. Like you said, No Problem.” I smiled and tapped Joey on the shoulder. “You always have your costume. Strip off to that G-string; you still wear it no doubt. Hop up on that bar and sock it to us.” Joey’s color quickly changed to a ghastly ash color.

    He leaned near my ear, “Pal, I can’t do that, I’m not in the shape I used to be.”

    “You will do fine.” I reached over and pulled his tunic zipper to his waist, patted his firm tummy, cinched in by the latest in men’s corsetry. “It is going to be your best performance to date.” This would definitely be a night I would remember. “It is always good to come back to your hometown for charity concerts. Just wait until those tips start coming in. Most of the class is here, or soon will be when the word gets out. Biojets, I should have known.” I patted the bar, “Come on, Joey, your fans are waiting.”

  2. laurentravian

    “Horrible. Just horrible.” grumbled Senator Maximus Aquarius.
    “Why did we even listen to Pontius Pilate?” agreed his best friend, Libertius Titus.
    They reclined, drinking their wine in harmony and grumbling about the show.
    “Using Nazarenes!”
    “Why, Pontius only had so many lines! The idea! It made Romans look so cruel!”
    “I must admit, that Nazarene fellow… the one who was betrayed?”
    “Jesus?”
    “Yes, that one. The one with all the lines. He was good. For a Nazarene. I wonder how long they’ll be in Rome?”
    Libertius laughed. “Long enough to pick up Pontius Pilate!”
    Maximus laughed with him, and they raised their goblets into the air. Suddenly, Pontius came flying in. “I made your team!” he started weeping hysterically. Maximus and Libertius looked at each other. Libertius asked, “Pontius, what happened?” “I got fired. I just wanted to be an actor!” he started weeping again. Maximus and Libertius picked him up and put him on a recliner. Maximus cleared his throat. “Poor Pontius. But everyone did warn you. You just aren’t meant to become an actor. But we can try to reinstate you as governor of-” “Don’t you get it? It was all real. I condemned him! Waaaaaah!” Libertius rolled his eyes. “Pontius. You showed poor judgement, surely. You released a murderer for a favorite. It happens. What you did wrong was try to relive it. And it just kept happening again and again, because you still wanted to be an actor.” Pontius sniffled. “I guess you’re right… can I buy you more wine?” Maximus and Libertius looked at each other. “Yes, but first you must promise us you’ll marry Libertius’ sister. She is a good young matron, pretty, but with a good head on her shoulders. She had been in love with you for a while, (though we can’t imagine why) and would keep you in line. You will also return to Israel as governor. Understood?” said Maximus. Pontius nodded and sniffled. They drank a toast to Bacchus, and Olivia Titia. After all, have the young men in Rome were after her. And let’s face it, Pontius needed the help of a god.

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