Rewriting Rudolph

Rewrite the story of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” from the point of view of Vixen (or any one of the other reindeer, such as Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer).

Post your response (500 words or less) in the comments below.

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2 thoughts on “Rewriting Rudolph

  1. Plgrove

    This here’s Blitzen, which is German for lightning. I’m the last dude you hear about in the song. Like my namesake I like things fast and unpredictable. I’m always paired with Donder (which is the proper spelling, by the way) which means thunder in Deutsch. Why, I ask is it always thunder THEN lightning? Lightning actually comes first ya know (unless you actually hear the click from the lightning, then you’re so darn close to the storm YOU could light up the whole city of Chicago.
    Anyway, we were just getting hitched up for the Main Event, as Sinatra would say, the big ride on Christmas Eve. I was getting ready to take my traditional spot in back, which takes great strength and stamina, but gets pretty boring by the time we get to Newark.
    The outdoor elf boys started hitching us up when Santa came out wearing his extra large hat with the stretchy band, without his beloved Rudolph in tow. (Rudy, by the way, is a brown-noser, not just a red-noser.) Rumor had it that Rudolph spiked the Big Man’s eggnog last night with some expensive vodka he brought back from a training flight to Russia.
    “Boys, frankly that steady red light from Rudolph’s nose is giving me a frightful headache, the way it’s reflecting off the snow, and I haven’t even hit the eggnog today yet,” as Santa stretched the headband a little farther yet. “We need to speed ‘er up tonight, but I still need to see where I’m going every once in awhile.”
    All of the other reindeer laughed and used a few choice names for that little shyster, but mostly they plowed the snow with their hooves for a moment thinking of ideas.
    “How about Blitzen, sir?” chimed in my ever polite partner Donder. “He should be up front because of his speed, and nobody knows that his antlers flash like lightning when he listens to too much Lady Gaga. Plus he smells.”
    So much for my ever polite partner.
    “Dasher, go get my iPod with the “The Fame Monster” on it, put it in the sleigh dock, and tell Rudolph he’s working the dispatch center tonight.” Santa leaned towards Donder and held his nose. “You’re right, Blitzen does smell at that.”
    I hurried up to the front, sticking my tongue out at Donder for his little editorial comment, but silently thanking him for getting me the new gig.
    What an amazing night! When I lit up like lightning, I could really see the junk ships of Hong Kong and Big Ben in England. Since I was setting the pace, the rest of the troops had to work to keep up with me, especially the boys in the back. So who’s stinking now, Donder ol’ chap?!?
    When we got back to the pole (after an extra-long carrot break in my beloved Newark) I saw Rudolph dejectedly take off his headquarters headphones. Did I feel sorry for him? Nahhhh, not really…

  2. bilbobaggins321

    Alright, let’s talk about Rudoplh the Reindeer.
    You know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen; Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen as the greatest reindeer in history. In fact, I am Dasher. I pulled Santa’s sleigh for fifty long years. Well, winters, actually.
    However, unfortunately, this story is not about MY heroic deeds. This story is about Rudolph, that IMPOSTER with a fake red nose that managed to infiltrate the storybooks. Yes, it sadly is. Rudolph was born in a small cave up near the North Pole. His father and mother were outcasts. They were rejected from Santa’s Training Camp. Their reputations were shattered. So, when Rudolph was born, his parents decided to involve him in a plan to hoist them up the ladder. They put Rudolph under and surgically installed a red light in his nose, that could be turned on and off with a switch.


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