Publish date:

The Quick(ish) Descent to Thesis Insanity: Aftermath

Friends. I cannot describe to you the relief that I feel right now. I imagine it's somewhere between finishing a (Boston!) marathon and beating Tetris on Level 9 with the music set to Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. Here are the details: In the last two weeks, I have written 80 new pages, re-written 220 pages, drank 11 (Sugar Free) Red Bulls, 17 Hot Teas (8 Green Ginger, 4 Refresh, 4 Awake, and 1 African Red Bush), ate 16 bowls of Honey Bunches of Oats mixed with Crispix, fallen asleep on my computer 8 times, run through 3 pairs of sweatpants, and let one man wearing a suit with a bow tie borrow my cell phone to make a "local" call to Canada. My final day I worked for 19 hours straight with a break only to eat pineapple and to field a call from my mom:

"Kevin, hon, how's it going?"
"AHHHHHHH!!! MY BRAIN IS FRIED!! I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!! I'M SOOOO TIRED!!"
"....Oh. It seems like you're a little overtired, dear"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (tears)"
(Pause)
"Oookkk....well, I just wanted to say good luck. I'll let you get back to it."

But then, miraculously, it was over. I got through the edits. I re-wrote an ending that will have to be re-written again. I went to Kinko's, printed out two 300 page copies of the manuscript, hand delivered them to the homes of my thesis adviser and reader, then drove to my favorite deli and used up the rest of a gift certificate I got last year for my birthday on Robust Russet Cape Cod Potato Chips. But by far the best part of all of this was waking up in the morning on Saturday and realizing that I had NOTHING to do. No magazine deadline, no chapter to edit, no re-writes...nothing. All I had to do was play in a soccer game, get sunburned, drink (imported) beers and pass out while trying to watch Juno.

This is not over, of course. I have to defend my thesis on Thursday, which will involve at LEAST learning the names of all of my central characters, and then make sure the formatting is right, etc, etc, to turn it into the grad school office, and then i have to re-write again before releasing it into the public, but whatever. That's, like, not even hard. That's like beating Tetris on Level 6 with mute on so you can listen to your own Maxell Cassette mixtape featuring "Have You Seen Her" by MC Hammer.

Anyway, I also wanted to thank everyone for all of their support during my thesis insanity. Your comments, your links, your Youtube videos, all of it kept me from focusing but, like, in a good way. Seriously though, you all are fantastic. And to show my gratitude--as promised-- click here for your own personal e-card: http://www.someecards.com/upload/friendship/if_you_ever_disappeared_while_hiking.html

I think that says it all. In the meantime, 1988 continues its unstoppable reign.

Tell it to,
my heart

Taylor Dayne

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