Oh hello. Unless you unintentionally clicked on the link to my blog while searching for a place to post romantic poems to Kevin Alexander Clark-that sassy, pre-teen heartthrob drummer from School of Rock, I assume you know who I am. But in case you don´t, or you´ve decided to momentarily abandon your Kevin Alexander Clark obsession and read on, here´s a brief yet informative bio written really for no reason in 3rd person and the answer to an obvious follow up question:
Kevin Alexander is one of a tandem of "This Writer´s Life Columnists" for Writer´s Digest who, despite Kevin never having published a book, have combined to sell over 12 million copies of books worldwide. He´s also a frequent contributor to Boston Magazine and pursuing his MFA in Fiction at Emerson College in Boston (although he has taken a semester off and is currently in the throes of a quarter life crisis\self-discovery\travel writing trip through Western and Eastern Europe). A Gemini, Kevin enjoys watching "the View", occasionally shaving and aggressively not wearing pants.
Brief, historical aside to answer the question, "How did you of all people get said column?"
Answer: About three years ago, I was finishing a grad degree in magazine journalism and for one of my classes, I wrote a satire of a self-help piece entitled, "How to Write a Literary Masterpiece; the Quick and Easy Way to Heaven" (see link at left for the original, unedited manuscript). Being young and overconfident and utterly clueless but motivated, I became convinced that this was the best thing ever produced and assumed nearly everyone else would as well. With that in mind, I began sending it out to writing magazines with the highest of expectations and was crushed when every one sent me back lengthy, slightly personal rejections, some of them even kind of mean. One started, "Mr. Alexander, This satire lacks any humor and would offend our readership".
Eventually, I tried to forget about it and move on with my life until one day, in what she assured me wasn´t a wrong number, I got a call from (then assistant editor!) Maria Schneider who told me that "while they weren't going to buy the piece", they were curious if I would write something else. So I did, and then I wrote another piece and then they asked, "Would you be interested in possibly writing a monthly column for us detailing your writing life?" and I told them, "No, of course not, I have way too many important things going on" and hung up. I kid. In reality, I accepted and began spontaneously dancing and trying to hug my roommate Ramsey, who proceeded to lock himself in his bedroom. And so for the past two years, I´ve been writing about writing triumphs and failures and Ramsey and The View and my father´s insistence that every reality show is (basically) Survivor. It continues to be one, long, happy ride or, as Maria would put it, "a very trying, crucial and expensive mistake for the magazine".
Now that we´ve gotten through that, I should probably explain what this blog is going to be about. Really, how I envision it, is a combination of things. Since I´m what historians call somewhat of a renaissance man--I can do a mediocre job at nearly anything having to do with writing--the blog will serve as a place for me to A) talk about writing: what´s going on in the writing world, craft issues, things people should check out, etc, etc, B) answer any questions readers may have to the best of my obviously prodigious ability, C) compile pure, unedited, stream of conscious thoughts complete with misspellings (sp?) and glaring grammatical errors, D) entertain and encourage writing. Because really, friends, I´m here for you. I want everyone to be published, and at least some of you to be wealthy and famous so I can borrow your cars.
For those of you who joined me on the forum, here are a few promises on how this will be 47 times better than said forum:
1. I´m dropping knowledge (i.e. posting) at least once a week, and while I can´t guarantee I´ll be interesting, at least the consistency is better.
2. It´ll be easier to see when a new post is up, which is good for my rapidly deteriorating eyes and apparently you can get an email alerting you to this monumental event. You lose again, Forum.
3. I can include pictures, which doesn t seem important, but for whatever reason, makes me very excited.
4. There will be a section, tentatively titled "Ramsey (might) solve your writing conundrum" in which I will actually solicit Ramsey´s advice to answer your writing questions. Not necessarily useful, but potentially entertaining.
5. Finally, instead of answering questions as posts like i did previously on the Forum, I will try and personally reply to people individually, or, if you ask a question that I think might be useful to a lot of people or common then I will put that up and you´ll win a free vintage poster of the cast of the View before Rosie was on the show. Or a copy of the School of Rock DVD with me forging a personal inscription from none other than Kevin Alexander Clark. Supplies limited.
Anyway, that´s pretty much it for now. So feel free to drop by occasionally or frequently or just keep this page open and hit refresh every few minutes, the choice is yours.
I love you all. Never change.