Successful Queries: Katie Greenstreet and “People Watching in the Desert,” by Cali Adeline

Welcome back to the Successful Queries series. In this installment, find a query letter to agent Katie Greenstreet (Paper Literary) for Cali Adeline's debut novel, People Watching in the Desert.

Cali Adeline lives in Charlottesville, Virginia, with her family where she loves to spend as much time outdoors as possible. People Watching in the Desert is her first novel.

Dear Katie,

I am seeking representation for my 70,000-word fiction novel, People Watching in the Desert, and I am writing to see if you would be interested in taking a look. Your biography mentioned that you were interested in book club / upmarket fiction and I was also excited to see that you desire to build long-term relationships with your clients.

Sonny Magee has spent most of her life alone, finding comfort in quiet solitude and staying within her own predictable lane. After she comes into a large sum of money, she decides to veer and finds herself at an all-inclusive spa in Arizona where she is immediately out of her element—being new to wealth and constant socialization.

The story meanders through Sonny’s experiences at Sanctuary Resort & Spa with anecdotes from her life and childhood that shed light on why she is the way she is—generally detached and isolated—and how she came into her money. Glimpses of the other guests’ backgrounds are revealed throughout Sonny’s new and unusual experiences, from hikes in the desert to horse therapy.

Sonny’s inner narrative is shaken when she shows up to an adventure course with many of the guests that she happened to encounter during her first few days at Sanctuary, including the alluring Allana, who seems intent on befriending Sonny. The truth eventually unfolds: things are not exactly as they seem and Sonny’s reality and fantasy have started to blur, causing her—and the reader—to question what’s real.

People Watching in the Desert is about a lonely young woman who prefers to live in a world of her own making and the strangeness that follows when she steps outside of it. The backdrop of strangers meeting on luxury vacations is reminiscent of Nine Perfect Strangers and White Lotus, but with an unreliable protagonist as seen in The Girl on the Train. It will appeal to those who enjoy a direct style of writing that lives somewhere between upmarket and book club fiction.

I was inspired to write this novel after a trip to a spa in the desert where much of my time was spent inventing stories for the people around me.

I queried Paper Literary previously with my first novel, I Dance Alone Now, and while that wasn’t a fit, I’m hopeful that you may be interested in this book. Thank you so much for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Best,

Cali Adeline

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Cali's query jumped out to me in a sea of submissions for quite a few reasons. To start, it was polite and professional, and it was clear she'd done her research into the type of books I represent. She also made clear that her novel hit on two themes I consistently seek out when signing new work: fish out of water stories and rich people hijinks in glamorous settings. Her timing was impeccable, too—Cali sent this my way in December, which is a notoriously gray and gloomy month in London, where I live. The idea of escaping to a luxury spa in Arizona through her world-building was immediately appealing! 

She also crafted her pitch paragraph well, ending on a note of mystery that suggested the novel delivers far more than a simple coming-of-age story set against a fun backdrop, that it also plays with form and expectation in a way that could help me elevate her hook into something truly high concept. Of course, that activated the salesperson part of my brain! I'm also always a sucker for a WHITE LOTUS comparison, and while I see a lot of GIRL ON THE TRAIN mentions in my submissions inbox, it was a smart pick here because of the way that title also explores questions of perception vs. reality. 

Finally, I was glad that Cali shared she'd queried the agency before! This told me two important pieces of information: that she is a writer serious about her craft, who does not stop creating in the face of adversity, and that she truly felt like Paper Literary would be a good fit. Authors are choosing agents as much as agents are choosing authors, and I feel very lucky that Cali ultimately landed on Paper to represent her work. 

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Katie Greenstreet is an agent at Paper Literary. An American in London, she's always on the hunt for stories across genres that will have global appeal and nearly everything she represents has at least a hint of darkness. At the moment, she'd love to find more upmarket psychological suspense or thrillers that subvert the usual tropes, with bonus points for humor, as in Best Offer Wins, a layered family mystery in the vein of Liz Moore, and historical fiction with contemporary themes and a page-turning plot that might sit next to Ariel Lawhon's work.