''How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack'' Comes Out Today!!!

Author:
Publish date:

Holy moley, dudes, my book is out today! It's crazy to think that after all these months, the release date is really here. The book is available in all major bookstores, or if you're an online shopper, you can find it on Amazon easily enough.

I'm giving away a free book to a random commenter who comments in the next 24 hours and lives in North America (ends 12:30 p.m. Wednesday). So comment and spread the word! (Wednesday update: The big winner was No. 3: Christina!)

Image placeholder title

4 Reasons to

Buy This Book:

1. It will save your life. Besides heart disease and stroke, death by garden gnome is the most common cause of death in the world today.

2. Clarity. Gnomes in pop culture are threatening our society as a whole. The insane phenomenon known as "The Roaming Gnome" is making gnomes sound like symbols of merriment and goodwill, but they are, in fact, murderous murderers.

3. Protection. When confronting a hoard of attacking gnomes, which of these weapons is most effective?
a) snow shovel
b) flamethrower
c) shotgun
If you don't already know the answer to this question, your life is in danger. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack teaches you what weapons to use and how. It also shows you what weapons gnomes will use against you.

4. Gnomeclature. Did you know that many common phrases we still utter today have their roots in terminology that has to do with gnome attacks? Learn what these phrases are and their strange history rooted in garden gnome violence.

Your life may very well be saved by reading this book. Find it online here!

6 Tools for Writing Nonfiction That Breathes

6 Tools for Writing Nonfiction That Breathes

Nonfiction author Liz Heinecke gives her top 6 tips for crafting a nonfiction book that will really capture your subject.

Flash Fiction Challenge

2021 February Flash Fiction Challenge: Day 27

Write a piece of flash fiction each day of February with the February Flash Fiction Challenge, led by editor Moriah Richard. Each day, receive a prompt, example story, and write your own. Today's prompt is to write something that makes you laugh.

Poetic Forms

Ars Poetica: Poetic Forms

Poetic Form Fridays are made to share various poetic forms. This week, we look at ars poetica and the art of writing poems about poems.

Flash Fiction Challenge

2021 February Flash Fiction Challenge: Day 26

Write a piece of flash fiction each day of February with the February Flash Fiction Challenge, led by editor Moriah Richard. Each day, receive a prompt, example story, and write your own. Today's prompt is to write about an article of clothing.

Authors Share Tips on Writing Mystery and Thriller Novels That Readers Love

23 Authors Share Tips on Writing Mystery and Thriller Novels That Readers Love

23 authors share tips on writing mystery and thriller novels that readers love, covering topics related to building suspense, inserting humor, crafting incredible villains, and figuring out the time of death.

Jaclyn Goldis: From Personal History to Historical Fiction

Jaclyn Goldis: From Personal History to Historical Fiction

Debut author Jaclyn Goldis explains how her novel When We Were Young was inspired by her real-life grandmothers and how many times she rewrote her first chapter.

Plot Twist Story Prompts: Forced Decision

Plot Twist Story Prompts: Forced Decision

Every good story needs a nice (or not so nice) turn or two to keep it interesting. This week, force a character to make a decision.

Flash Fiction Challenge

2021 February Flash Fiction Challenge: Day 25

Write a piece of flash fiction each day of February with the February Flash Fiction Challenge, led by editor Moriah Richard. Each day, receive a prompt, example story, and write your own. Today's prompt is to write about a cryptid.

From the Practical to the Mystic: 7 Tips for Writing Historical Fiction

From the Practical to the Mystic: 7 Tips for Writing Historical Fiction

Bestselling author Erika Robuck provides her top 7 tips for creating an engaging historical fiction novel.