Please could I get feedback on this short piece of writing

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    • #659168
      AvatarPauluk3
      Participant

      I would love some feedback on the writing in the below, is it easy to read and clear. An help or alternations would be much appreciated.

      You are going to Die

      Stark, direct and true. In reality we are already dying, moment by moment – one day at a time. You may not agree with death or like to think about, but it won’t change anything. Nobody can reject this glaring fact of life. One day we will all take our last breath, depart from our body and cease to exist in this realm. Death does not care about how much money you have, who you are, your age or your appearance. Nobody can avoid it and it’s only a matter of time until your day us up. On that day, you will leave everything behind and your money, career; even your family and friends won’t matter at all.

      Funny how the one thing we cannot avoid is the one thing nobody wants to think about. However, we cannot escape another stark reality.

      On the other side of death, something will be true.
      Either we will cease to exist or reincarnation will be true, or some other worldview, religious teaching will be true – but something WILL be true. Since we cannot avoid these two realties, it would be wise to think about how this affects us. We should pursue truth, because without it we have nothing. So what is the truth?

      So what is the truth?

      If we think about it, every belief we hold comes from only two main position. The first one is that there is no God or creator and everything comes from nothing. On the opposite side is the idea that there is an eternal God or creator and he made everything. Every person will one day on death have to face which of these is true, as they cannot both be correct.

      Looking at the first position, we could say that everything came from nothing and we are no more than a biological mistake. On death, we simply cease to exist and become worm food. However, that does leave many unanswered questions, like why death is so tragic to humanity and where the entire gigantic universe came from!

      If we consider the other worldview that claims there is a God, it does seem to answer many of the really big questions about the universe, life and death. If this is potentially a true position then naturally, we might ask which religion is true.

      Well, every religion is somewhat similar as they all teach that God is good, we are bad and because of this, we need to get onto the right side of God to avoid rightful punishment. In Islam and Judaism, you must perform good deeds in a hope to be made acceptable. Hinduism teaches right standing is based on good works, knowledge or devotion and Buddhism claims right standing by good works called the Noble Eightfold Path.

      In summary, all religions teach that we can work our way up an invisible ladder of good deeds, devotion or attainment of knowledge to a point where we are “good” enough to be accepted before God.

      But what about Christianity, what does it teach?

      Well it’s very unique because it teaches the exact and precise total opposite to every other religious worldview. It clearly and continually states there is no amount of works we can do to be acceptable before God – zero – zilch – nada. We simply cannot be good enough for God by any human achievement.

      Ephesians 2:9 says “God saved you by his grace when you believed and you cannot take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it”.

      God does not require “good” people to be in relationship with him, but absolutely perfectly holy sinless people, just like he is. This is the core message of the bible. But one that clearly presents an issue, as no one is perfect – so what now ?

      The bible teaches that the whole of humanity is separated from God by our sin, this happened in Genesis when Adam (the head of the human race) sinned and rejected God, causing every human to carry that sin and thus we are all affected.

      Romans 5:12 says “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned”.

      But because God is Holy, perfect, sinless, without fault and flawlessly he is separated from a sinful humanity, resulting in a broken relationship. But his is not Gods purpose for humanity as we were created to be in relationship with him. Thankfully, he has provided a solution!

      Romans 5:18 says “Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous”.

      Since we cannot live up to the perfect sinless standard God requires, we need someone to come and live that life for us. The good news is that Jesus came to earth and lived that life for us, so that we can be reunited with God – 2 Corinthians 5:21 says “God made him (Jesus) who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God”.

      Hebrews 9:1 says “It is appointed once for man to die and then be judged, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him” – after death there are no second chances.

      You can be part of Gods holy people that the bible calls the bride of Christ. You can be transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light by putting your faith in Jesus who died on the cross in your place and took your sin. Turn from your sinful life and trust fully in Jesus perfect life being accounted to you.

      If you acknowledge that God is Holy and your need for a saviour, repent and confess with your mouth and believe with your heart – YOU WILL BE SAVED. Saved from Gods righteous anger and punishment against all sin and the consequently eternal punishment in a real place called hell.

      However, such is the generosity of God that not only are you saved and declared holy, righteous and sinless, but you are also given a new heart, new godly desires, a new nature, declared an adopted child of God and co-heir with Jesus. You are given an eternal inheritance in heaven that can never perish and a place in Gods kingdom that is not of this world and far great than anything we can imagine. In John 6:37 Jesus says “he will never turn away those that come to him”. Only you can make this choice and only God can change your heart and make you a new creation.

      Hudson Taylor a missionary who was killed at a young age made the following profound statement:
      He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep (temporary life) to gain what he cannot lose (eternal life). Mark 8:36 says “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul”

      The question to what is the truth has been answered.

      It was answered in the form of Jesus, who came down to earth as human, preformed supernatural miracles, died and gave up his life for you, rose from the dead and claimed to be the way, the truth and the life.

    • #661423
      Avataralisajoycee
      Participant

      This is like future psychology in every human’s life.

    • #664745
      Avataryoffi
      Participant

      Strong words.

    • #664947
      AvatarElaine17
      Participant

      Elaine 17
      Please read and tell me what’s wrong with my story- Karma Seductive
      (I keep getting turned down and my novel is finish)

      “I wanted my day to be special and perfect, so I went to go freshen up before Shane showed up. As I stood under the water I began to think about my evening with Mr. Shane I was so excited that day that once I took my shower I wanted to be fresh from head to toe and all in between. After allowing the water to fully cover my body I slowly watched my hands go in slow motion over my breast and feel my nipples become harder as the soap began to form tiny bubbles over them. I reached over and grabbed my waterproof vibrator and lifted my right leg onto the tub faucet and inserted my new found friend. I slowly pulled out and let it run over my clit. It was really turning me on that I almost climaxed. All I needed was Shane’s lips on my every move and on up to my breast so they wouldn’t be jealous of all the attention the rest of my body was getting. I continued to pretend Shane was there with his hands all over me and having his way by slowly moving the vibrator away from my clit and I would watch him bend down and give it a kiss and replace my new friend with his whole mouth. I watched Shane licking it as if, he’s kissing my lips. I grabbed Shane’s head pulling him closer to make him go faster and deeper. My moans began to get louder as he goes faster. As I exploded in Shane” mouth. Shane stands up and inserts his fully erected penis in me and kisses my lips as Shane slowly moves his penis in and out of me. Shane kisses me from my lips to my neck, from my neck to my breast never missing a beat. No words were exchanged, just moans. As Shane came, he pulled my head back gently and sucked on my neck until he was empty. I came again as his slowly erection penis sled out”, said Crystal.

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