Talking Pet

One day you wake up to find your dog/cat waiting for you at the side of your bed, sitting on your briefcase. Cocking its head, it tells you, in perfect English, that you won’t be going to work today. Why won’t your pet let you go to work, and what happens?

Post your response (500 words or less) in the comments below.

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7 thoughts on “Talking Pet

  1. kathleenmagner

    Boulder thumped onto the foot of the bed, the spring-creaking pounce timed with Polly’s alarm. Rolling onto her back, Polly fumbled for the clock bleating on her side table and found the snooze button without fully waking. In the satisfying silence, she sank into her pillow’s warm dent and squirreled beneath her comforter.

    With heavy treads, Boulder padded up the pristine stretch beside her. Instead of curling at her waist, or by her head, and joining her for her extra five-minute doze, his paws slammed into her stomach. A lurch later and his entire weight landed on her chest.

    Polly squinted at her cat. “Morning to you too.”

    Dropping back, she sought to shift him off her body and gain an easier breath.

    Boulder’s claws dug in and his furry mass seemed to gain the density synonymous with his name. Polly’s initial shoves failed to move him and without any additional leverage she lay trapped beneath his bulk. Giving in, she drifted off until the alarm pierced her bedroom’s lull again, the bleat somehow more insistent the second time around.

    Polly sighed and stretched her arms. She doused the clock’s call and sunk her fingers into Boulder’s fur, finding his toasted body underneath. “Time to get off.”

    “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

    Springing awake, Polly stared at the ceiling and then at her chest while the statement echoed.

    Boulder gazed back, his pointed ears perked, his feline gaze dotted with amber and emerald, his fiery pelt smooth. Holding her abdominal crunch, Polly searched her cluttered dresser, the piles of winkled dirty clothes, and those clean and folded in the laundry basket for the source of the gravelly bass bouncing between sleep, dreams, and her ears.

    No one spoke.

    Collapsing into her pillow, Polly scrubbed her hands across her face. A line of daylight crept through her fingers and she noted the beam passing through the curtains draped over the ground floor window, soft yellow strengthening against the four walls of whitewashed brick.

    “Wake up, Polly.”

    “You are awake.”

    At the bass’ return, Polly stilled beneath her blankets. The beat of Boulder’s heart slammed through the comforter as if to replace her own. Propping up on her elbows, Polly stared at her cat.

    “No.” She scrubbed through her hair. “I have to be dreaming.”

    Boulder’s ears flattened and with a blurred swipe of a paw, he nicked her forearm.

    Polly sat up, tossing Bolder from her chest, and pressed against the headboard, clutching her arm. “What was that for?”

    Her cat placed himself in the middle of the bed, cocked his head, and gained a feline grin. “Do you believe you’re dreaming now?”

    “I have to be dreaming. My cat is talking to me. How is it possible if I’m not dreaming?”

    “Perhaps because I can talk.” Boulder’s mouth moved with each word, his whiskers fluttering. “I just never have.”

    Polly let fatigue, ire, and the vestiges of last night’s wine, paint sarcasm onto her tone. “But now you’ve changed your mind?”

    … Click here to read the rest and feel free to leave a comment.

  2. sydneybear

    I wake to my alarm. It can’t be morning already. As I reach over to press the snooze, I am startled to see my cat Higgins sitting on my briefcase at the side of the bed. He is just sitting there, head cocked and staring at me. I must admit Higgins is an unusual cat and does not act like your regular house cat. He reminds me of a sophisticated older gentleman. No playing or silliness with this cat. It is all serious. But on this day, he was more strange than normal. He had never been in my room in the morning, never mind staring at me. I get out of bed and picked Higgins up to see if he was OK.

    “Put me down.” A voice said very sternly.

    I looked around to see who was playing this lame joke on me, but I do not see anyone. Higgins starts wiggling and I look at him.

    “Are you OK?”

    “No. I want to be put down this instant.”

    Good thing cats always land on their feet because I dropped Higgins as I ran out of my bedroom, down the hall to the bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it. I stood over the sink and splashed cold water on my face and looked in the mirror.

    “This is not real. I’m still dreaming.”

    I turn to a scratching at the door.

    “Please master, I need to speak to you. It is a matter of utmost importance.” Higgins said.

    “I’m still dreaming. I’m going to wake up any minute. Go away.” I yelled at the door.

    “I’m sorry master, but you are not dreaming and I can not go away. I have something very important to tell you.”

    “OK, but you step away from the door.” I went to the door and opened it a crack. Higgins was sitting across the hall waiting for me.

    “Thank you master for opening the door. I need to tell you that you can not go to work today. It is vitally important that you stay home today.”

    “You are being silly. I have to go to work. I have to get my proposal done for our meeting this afternoon. I can’t miss. Besides what can be that important?”

    “I’m unsure, but I know for certain that you must stay here. You see, animals can only talk to their masters in times of crisis. Since I am able to talk to you, there must be a very good reason.”

    “That is not very convincing.” I close the bathroom door and turn to get into the shower “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a cat. I’m just going to ignore him. I have to get to work. I’m already going to be late.”

    After my shower I get out and dry off. I open the bathroom door, no cat. I walk quietly to my room to get dressed. Just as I enter my room, Higgins is sitting on my briefcase hissing.

    “You stupid cat, get off there. You have already made me late.” I walk over to shoo him off, but he hissed at me again.

    “I’m sorry master, but I must insist. Please, you can not go to work.”

    “You are being silly. I’m going to work with or without my briefcase.” I walk around Higgins and grab my clothes from the closet. I go back to the bathroom to get dress, dry my hair and do my makeup. Of all the days for Higgins to make me late for work. This meeting is extremely important.

    On my way to the front door, I look in my room and see that Higgins is not on my briefcase. I grab it quick and almost run for the door, but come to a grinding halt. Higgins is standing there in front of the door with his hair up and hissing.

    “Higgins out of the way. I have to go now!” I’m getting quite mad at him. I grab the broom so that I can push him out of the way without getting scratched. As I am about to push him out of the way, he turns and walks away calmly. My eyes follow him is amazement. He was so adamant that I stay home and now he has just given up.

    The door bell rings. I drop the broom. This is the last thing I need. I’m just going to tell whoever it is that I’m late and can not talk.

    I open the door. Standing there is a tall soldier. I drop my briefcase and almost fall over myself, but the soldier catches me.

    “Hello sweetheart. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get home.”

    I look up into the most beautiful brown eyes. I didn’t think that I would ever see them again since I was told that he was missing in action. I gave my husband the biggest hug ever.

    “Welcome home my Love”

  3. Crimsonhex

    The alarm clock started its usual buzzing and automatically with both eyes closed I started flapping my arms at the sidetable.
    After a brief struggle which felt like a long ancient sword fight between two highly skilled warriors, I got hold of the damned gadget,turned it off and went back to sleep.
    A few peaceful moments swept by and ‘the thing’ started screaming its head off again.
    “AAAAAGHHHH..”I literally shouted and got out of bed only to find my cat resting its paws on the On button of the alarm clock.
    ‘aaaaahhh…..Sassyyyyy!!’ I said with an annoyed tone.
    “What?’ he said with indifference.
    “Its Sunday and I was…”I cut short realizing what had just happened.
    ‘Did you just…nah I must be going crazy”I said to myself but somehow kept staring at Sassyl.
    “What?never seen a cat talk before?’he said giving me an irritated look.
    I shook my head.
    “Well with it.I just wanted you to know its twelve already and I am hungry ”
    I didn’t respond and kept gaping at my apparently ‘talking pet’.
    “Come on..move it man.Get your ass upto the kitchen and throw me some chicken or something”
    I got up and as I was moving he added,”Fry it a bit if you can.Raw hurts my canines’
    “You got it”I replied with knitted eyebrows.
    With the situation like this I couldn’t tell who the master was.
    15 minutes later I took Sassy’s food tray and placed it on the floor.
    “Enjoy’ I said.
    “Oh yes I will’ he said and jumped down from the sofa.
    “Do me a favor will ya?Wash this tray next time.I am a cleanfreak.I detest dirt’
    “haha.ha..ha ..ok ..i will”
    “Turn on the tv’he ordered and unwillingly I followed.
    By the way why did you name me Sassy?Its such a sissy name and I even feel like you are calling me sissy everytime you say Sassy.Dont you know I am a dude?’he asked.
    “I am sorry..I didn’t think much when I was naming you.”
    “Well you should have.I hate it”,he said.
    “I will change it”I said with gritted teeth.”What do you want to be called?’
    “Well I like..”
    I couldn’t hear what he said next as my alarm started buzzing again.
    I opened my eyes and saw Sassy sitting infront of me and yes he was the one who woke me up ‘again’.
    “Sassy?”I said in a raspy voice.
    “Oh thank God you cant know i had the craziest dream and you were talking and driving me nuts..phew..Oh its’re probably hungry.I will cook you something”
    I got up smiling and headed to the kitchen.
    Sassy looked after him(me) and smirked.

  4. butterflywings

    Stupid alarm. I hit at it. Snooze, my old friend, I think lovingly as I roll back onto my soft, welcoming pillow. It never works, though. My cat always wants breakfast as soon as he hears the alarm go off. The first time. No snoozes allowed.
    I sigh, waiting for the meowing, pawing, and batting of my messy curls.
    The complete silence wakes me like a pitcher of cold water in the face. Being bitten in the nose wouldn’t have been as effective as the dead quiet.
    Was he all right? What could be wrong that would make him want to miss breakfast? He never sleeps in. Never. And I’ve had him for three, or was it five, years now?
    I push the covers down, sit up and look around the room. I keep my room closed so he can’t make mischief in the other parts of the house while I sleep. He has to be in here.
    There he was. Sitting calmly, and strangely quietly, on my briefcase.
    “There you are, Casio! Aren’t you hungry? You always wake me up. I got a little worried for a minute.”
    “I wanted you to sleep. You aren’t going in to work today.” Casio gave his paw a cleaning and ignored me as I had a mini freak out. He talked to me? No. But. And I heard… But I can’t have.
    I look around the room, certain I’ve heard someone else in the room. I have never heard that voice before. Yeah, because my cat hadn’t spoken to me, I think before I can shove the idea aside. Shut up, shut up, shut up! I order that part of my brain.
    “You didn’t just talk to me,” I tell the cat. “Where’s my cell phone? I left it on, didn’t I? Who did I call by mistake?”
    “It’s me. I just haven’t spoken to you before. We don’t. Usually. There’s rarely anything important enough to say to a human. This is important. Go back to sleep. I can wait for breakfast. For today. We aren’t making a habit of this.”
    I think about it, really think about listening to a cat.
    “I can’t play hooky, um, Casio. I need this job. You like to eat, right?”
    “Sure. However, if you go to work and die I won’t be eating very regularly, will I?” His eyes pierce into mine.
    “Die?” I whisper the word as I clutch my comforter. I’ve never understood how a big thick blanket earned the name ‘comforter.’ Blanket, right? Today it makes sense. Today it becomes a comforter.
    “Hmph. See? Now you made me say it!” Casio jumps off my briefcase, crawls into my arms, and demands attention. Nothing spells comfort like a cuddly, loving cat. Even when said cat insists on talking rather than purring.
    “Stay home today. If anything is left after this storm you may leave.”
    I nod. I can take a sick day. I can tell my boss my cat isn’t acting…normal.

      1. CharleneTurner

        I really liked it! I loved the end and the part about the comforter. Congratulations on this being your first story. It’s especially good for having been written at 11:30 pm.

  5. catbr

    “Good morning sleepy head.”

    “Man that was some dream. I could have sworn that you were just talking to me Penny. Big day ahead of me today, lots to do. Time for a shower.” I pick Penny up to give her a hug and some petting.

    “Not so fast mom.”

    “Okay this isn’t funny. I wonder who set this up to make it look like my cat is talking to me. I sure don’t recognize that voice. Must be imagining things. Oh well, got to get in the shower.” I put Penny down and go to have my shower.

    Just when I’m almost done getting dressed I hear it again.

    “Are you going to be in there all day. I’d like to have a word with you if you don’t mind.” This is freaking me out. So I open the bathroom door and there’s Penny, looking straight into my eyes with an almost human look.

    “You’re finally finished.” The mouth is moving…but this can’t be.

    “What is going on?”

    “Sometime through the night you were having this dream with me in it and I was talking. For some strange reason I ended up getting a weird message from the dream and BINGO, here I am or should I say “hear” I am. Surprise!”

    “This is a joke, isn’t it?” I feel so idiotic having a conversation with my cat.

    “It’s the real deal. Anyway I only have this voice for 1 day and I’d really appreciate it if you’d stay home from work so we can really get to know each other.”

    “Yeah, sure thing Penny. I’d love to. This is just unbelievable! Why did you call me mom?”

    “Because you adopted me when I was a kitten and I always thought of you as my mom. You usually treated me pretty good except for when you were having a bad day.” Penny looked at me with a sad look in her eyes.

    So I phone into work and take the day off to talk with my cat…weird. Turns out that cats aren’t that dum after all and are very loyal and loving creatures. It was a very strange day to say the least but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    As the day came to a close and her talking voice faded away I knew that I wouldn’t have so many bad days anymore or at least never take them out on Penny. How does that saying go “pets are people too” or what ever. In this case she really was, almost.