Q: I don’t understand the difference between who and whom. Can you please explain to me, in simple terms, how to differentiate between the two?—Anonymous
The confusion between who and whom is one of the most common problems writers face. It can be tricky to find the correct use, and sometimes you may feel like locating the person who invented both words and smacking him upside his head. But there is a difference.
Who is used as the subject of a verb or complement of a linking verb. It’s a nominative pronoun. It was Carl who broke all the pencils in the house. When writing a sentence, first find the verb(s)—was and broke. Then, find the subject for each verb: Carl and who. Since who is a subject, it’s correct. Who needs a crayon to write this down?
Whom is used as the object of the verb or the object of a preposition. It’s an objective pronoun. You asked whom to the dance? In this case, the subject and verb are “You asked.” The pronoun following the verb is the object of the verb, therefore whom is correct. He’s already going to the prom with whom? This pronoun is the object of the preposition with, so whom is the right pick. Be careful, though. Make sure the prepositional pronoun in question isn’t also a subject—if it is, then you use who. For example, I cheered for who played hardest. While the pronoun follows a preposition (for), it’s also the subject of the second verb (played). When placed as a subject, always use who.
One way to remember is to check to see which pronoun can replace the questionable word. It’s a little trick I learned back in elementary school: If it can be replaced with “he,” you use who; if “him” fits better, use whom. Sometimes you may need to split the sentence to see it. For example, It was Carl—he broke all the pencils in the house. Who should be used here. You asked him to the dance? Whom is the correct choice.
And when in doubt on the “who whom” debacle, recast the sentence to avoid the issue altogether.
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here is a fun link, whether you already understand the distinction between “who” and “whom” or not!
http://www.linguicon.com/schools/students/grammar/grammar-2-050/
after starting the e-lesson, the topic is discussed on page 5, but I would start from the beginning
Yep, I’ve always just gone with the good old: “If it can be replaced with ‘he,’ you use who; if ‘him’ fits better, use whom.”
All the jargon used to explain was still a bit confusing, but the examples really provided some light. I’ll keep this in mind when writing. Thanks.
Thank you for the clarification. Hopefully this will help those who were absent the day it was explained in grammar school. A good way to avoid the issue all together is to write only dialogue where all the rules of grammar are pitched out the window or use a narrator with an American high school education.
Another thing to consider is the context of your writing. Some characters may not use correct grammar in their speech for example, in which case using ‘whom’ correctly may make the character sound more formal.
I like the him/he tip.
Why not her head?
It could be “her” head. I often switch between masculine and feminine pronouns when answering these questions, so if you read enough of them you should see I use a mix.
Brian
Online Editor
This grammar trick is quite rife
That’s a great explanation, though I suspect that readers who understand your grammar terms have already mastered the who/whom distinction, and those who need your who/whom distinction do not grasp your grammar terms well enough to “get there from here.”
That’s why your he/him test is ideal. I’ve used it to help buddies. It simplifies all.
Your reminder to use “who” in sentences like, “Choose who runs fastest” is an *excellent* clarification.