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So You Want to Write a Novel (This is Hilarious)

Categories: Brian Klems' The Writer's Dig Tags: Brian Klems, online editor blog.

OK, so as both a young writer many moons ago and as a weathered editor today, I can admit that, when it comes to the publishing industry, I’ve spanned the scale from naive to cynical to cautiously optimistic. But this video really, really made me laugh.

“What was the last book that you read?”
“I saw all of the Harry Potter movies.”

Really, I spit Pepsi out of my nose at that line. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

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17 Responses to So You Want to Write a Novel (This is Hilarious)

  1. xrmorgan says:

    I once had a boyfriend who said to me “I think I’ll write poetry. You’re a writer, so I know I can do it.” Super offensive! He was a terrible writer.

    Done by the end of the week! Hilarious, and I wish that were possible.

  2. MegMac says:

    My professor for my novel writing class showed us this video in class. It’s classic. You may also enjoy this one: http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7892891/how-to-publish-a-novel

  3. adrian says:

    I know this video is a parody, but it’s true to the highest degree. A lot of writers think they can just write, sell, write, sell. None of them realize this until they start to write the novel and panic when these unpublished fish realize that they’re stuck on page one. I’ve been in this position before and the one thing I never do is underestimate the size of the project that I am having to write. Right now, I’m at almost twenty thousand words and feel like this thing is going nowhere. Will I publish this first attempt? Probably not since this is my best attempt at actually writing a novel. My friends say I should keep working on it and try to publish somewhere (they’ve already read part of it), but I’m not so sure at this stage.

    This video has a ton of reality to it as the pig is the average writer who has too much hubris. My favorite part was, “I think I will finish by the end of the week.” No, just no!

  4. I am also a student of the human condition.

  5. It’s sad how real this is. I’ve heard/had all those same thoughts over the years and had to learn the hard way. Laugh-out-loud funny, but sad at the same time.

    • HPSeeker says:

      Jeffery, I have the same feelings/thoughts. I have to say, though, that it was the “pitchforks/burning-at-the-stake” line that cracked me up! lol

  6. Jessica Paul says:

    I forgot how hilarious this video is. Thanks for a much needed laugh this morning!

  7. Yep!!! That me alright…Through and Through….

  8. NSaber says:

    It’s funny. Here’s my take on it:
    Awkward Error Comic Strip

  9. Sherry Anderson says:

    I lead a writer’s group – This is so true to life for those who don’t have a clue about writing and the business – all there together in one person. All I could do was smile. Thanks for the amusement!

  10. napkinjenny says:

    I like the part about coming up with a new idea at page 50. That would be why I have 3 works in progress at 50,000+ words, 1 that I managed to just leave as a bare bones sketch, and 1 that I started yesterday (how timely) that I’m hoping will just amount to some ramblings I needed to get out of my system. But at least words are getting on paper, right.

  11. HuffmanHanni says:

    “I have a gun in my car.” My god that made me laugh so hard. I’m not sure if this is supposed to inspire me as a beginning writer or discourage me but at least I have a better clue and more realistic expectations than the one guy.

  12. mobrien says:

    Uhh, wow! Hilarious!

    MO

  13. publicdefender says:

    Either the best or worse case of positive attitude in history. I truly loved it!

  14. It IS funny, thank you! I like the guy, no matter what. “I’m a storyteller, it will all work out.” Great attitude. :-)

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