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It’s Our 4th Annual “April Fools’ Headlines for Writers” Contest – Join in & Win Prizes!

Categories: Brian Klems' The Writer's Dig Tags: Brian Klems.

Are you ready to have a little fun? It’s April Fools Day, which means it’s time for my annual #AprilFools4Writers contest! Here’s how it works: Create entertaining, clever and witty headlines that would appear in an Onion-style newspaper for writers about anything writing related (grammar, authors, books, etc.) and post it in any of the ways mentioned below. That’s it! That’s all you have to do. To make it extra special, I’ll up the ante: I’m giving away two prizes, The Build an Author Platform Premium Collection and a copy of the 2014 Writer’s Market Deluxe Edition. Here’s how to win one of them:

Enter this competition in any of the four ways below. Also, spread the word of it by mentioning this blog post anywhere you can and I’ll give you a second chance to win. I’ll pick the winners at random.

Here’s my first one:
aprilfools4writers-2014 How to be entered for a chance to win:

1. Post your headline in any one of these ways:

2. Share this post on your social media sites–Twitter, FB, Google+, your blog.
If you post on Twitter, include my handle @BrianKlems so I can track it. If you post on FB, Google+ or post on your blog, include the link below in the comments section. Here’s a sample that you can use anywhere:
Tweet: Like April Fool's Day? Enter the @WritersDigest #AprilFools4Writers contest. It's free! Details: http://ctt.ec/ay3EJ+ (via @BrianKlems)

 

Like April Fool’s Day? Enter the @WritersDigest #AprilFools4Writers contest. It’s free! Details: http://bit.ly/1jUbnq1 (via @BrianKlems) [Click here to Tweet this]

 

If you want to be eligible for prizes, you have to do both. Deadline is Friday, April 4, 2014 at noon EDT. (So you have all week to participate!) I will announce the winners and post some of my favorite entries next Monday, April 7 right here on this blog. Remember, enter because it’s fun—as a bonus, you could walk away with one of these:

wd_authorplatformpc-500u3874_500px_72dpi_2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. Want to win even bigger prizes and receive prestigious awards? Check out other Writer’s Digest writing contests.

Thanks for visiting The Writer’s Dig blog. For more great writing advice, click here.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
brian-klems-2013

Brian A. Klems is the online editor of Writer’s Digest and author of the popular gift book Oh Boy, You’re Having a Girl: A Dad’s Survival Guide to Raising Daughters.

Follow Brian on Twitter: @BrianKlems
Sign up for Brian’s free Writer’s Digest eNewsletter: WD Newsletter

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210 Responses to It’s Our 4th Annual “April Fools’ Headlines for Writers” Contest – Join in & Win Prizes!

  1. MC Hammer says:

    Look The Plane!

  2. veronica_gurlie says:

    Stephen King Says, He Had No Choice But To Write IT.

    (one of the titles of his books is “It”)

  3. veronica_gurlie says:

    Author Linda Lewis Admits, She Was 2 Young 2 Go 4 Boys.

  4. like to write says:

    2014 Authors stricken with WRITER’S BLOCK are banned access to group retreats.

    Passive voices were overrun yesterday by agitated active verbs.

  5. Mary Beth says:

    Pancake Chef Pens a Page-Turner
    Non-Friction Writers Fail in Strike Effort
    Dead Editor Identified by Marks

  6. livvyrose8 says:

    Debate, concerning B. Klems ability to actually survive raising daughters, growing hotter.

  7. kbaktygul says:

    1. Modern version of ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ “Call of the Doll” by Marry Christen is ready to drop you into the depth of dark reality and toss to the sky light to experience emotion from the motion.

    2.Chris Hoover claims to grab the attention of the indigo book readers with his “I have a rendezvous with rosemary” promising virtual flight in a sky-high level.

  8. Malley says:

    Professor of exposition to present background information in chapter one of local story.

  9. CloudedImpulses says:

    Writers digest editor and popular author Brian Klem found dead; buried alive under massive dump.

  10. Thomas says:

    Will President Obama’s Economic Policies Impact the Self-Publishing Industry?

  11. jfelton4 says:

    Professor Struggles to save a Dangling modifier

  12. Linda Lee Sand says:

    Posted for my dad, Bob Lee:

    Editor overheard saying weak Adjective made Noun a Celebrity

  13. teriwrites says:

    Period stops a sentence in the name of Punctuation.

    Editor drowns in a slush pile.

    Conjunction Junction train derails. Grammarians develop nervous twitch.

    Editor divorces husband over his misspelled text: “What are you up too?”

    Grammarian strangles a dangling modifier. Film at 11.

    Rule about “No Rules” ruled out in court.

  14. livvyrose8 says:

    Edgar Allan Poe found guilty of imprisoning Annabelle Lee in a kingdom by the sea resulting in her death.

  15. livvyrose8 says:

    Harper Lee attacked by PETA after senseless killing of Mockingbird.

  16. livvyrose8 says:

    Stephen King confined to Dark Tower after abandoning family Under the Dome.

  17. FriscoJohn says:

    Curly Brackets Receive French Accolades, Brace for Fame

  18. livvyrose8 says:

    R.L. Stine faces charges after failing to produce promised goosebumps.

  19. kbaktygul says:

    1. Modern version of ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ “Call of the Doll” by Marry Christen is ready to drop you into the depth of dark reality and toss to the sky light to experience emotion from the motion.

    2.Chris Hoover claims to grab the attention of the indigo book readers with his “I have a rendezvous with rosemary” promising virtual fly in a sky-high level.

  20. FriscoJohn says:

    Warren Buffet: NCAA [ ]teer.

  21. FriscoJohn says:

    Get :oscopy for Irritable Vowel Syndrome

  22. Tom Bentley says:

    Oh dangit, I forgot to include your Twitter handle Bryan, though I did use the #AprilFools4Writers hashtag when I posted. Anyway, these were mine:

    Bukowski codes popular location-sharing app that pinpoints racetracks with cheap beer

    Sherlock Holmes finds Gone Girl; she’d been hiking in the wild with Cheryl Strayed

    Eeyore sues Pooh for “persistently sunny attitude”; claims all future tails in damages.

    T.S. Eliot confesses scholarly glasses a prop; declares he wrote “Waste Land” in haze of Cheetos and Bud Lite binge

    Horton, weeping, admits to actually hearing a “whom.” Quietly surrenders to grammar police.

    Cormac McCarthy brutally beaten by Punctuation League president wielding outsize semicolon

    thanks, Tom

  23. Ready to press pause? Em and En, of the new YA novel Dash, can help you.

    Readers and critics alike are raving about Dash, the fast-paced, dystopian YA tale of star-crossed runners Emily and Enyn (Em and En).

    “Em and En gave me pause! Rapturous!” NY Times Book Review
    “Can Em and En co-exist? Revolutionary!” LA Times
    “Dash is well-placed…bursting with voice, ultimately lending attention to the very act of composition.” NPR’s Fresh Air
    “Will Em choose En or Hy? And why is she attracted to shorter men?” Goodreads

  24. BrianLeehan says:

    Plea Bargain Set: Prosecutor Subject and Attorney Verb reach sentence agreement

  25. FriscoJohn says:

    Period Gets to the Point. Ellipsis Indecisive.

  26. cbluntt says:

    Judge Rules in Vowel dispute after “A” produces substantiated evidence of what appears to be and “I.O.U” signed by “E”.

  27. hojawile says:

    My Beauty
    A blind friend sees things I do not
    With the beautiful eyes of her soul.
    Another, short of breath,
    Breathes praise of her Creator,
    Not an ounce of bitterness about her condition.
    One cannot hear
    But his joyous laughter is music to me.
    A little girl on one leg of her own, and
    Four more provided by a walker
    Hobbles happily as any child across a zoo.

    All of these live without deformity,
    Without limitation.
    And I?
    With my extremities intact
    And all else functioning as it ought to be
    Except for the misery I’ve invited
    By choices of inner malfunction?

    Do I limit myself
    By taking in what packages call “food?”
    By going on guilt trips I can’t afford?
    By taking on tasks that belong to the Lord?
    By fretting and fuming and more?
    Do I write cheap rhymes instead of
    Being willing to explore?

    Embrace the beautiful!
    You’ll find beauty all around you,
    In a cleft lip smile.
    In legs that need a day to walk a mile.
    In the quirky wardrobe of unique style.
    The underweight and overfed,
    Courage grasped by one who lived in dread,
    All have something to be said.

    This so-called poem is awkward.
    It breaks so many rules.
    We look around us with critical eye…
    Someone does not follow OUR rules
    Of looking…or sounding…or smelling
    “Beautiful.”
    A trial we did not choose,
    Or maybe we caused,
    Seems hideous, unfair, unjust.
    But every person, every challenge
    IS beautiful
    When we learn from him, from her, from it.

    My beauty comes of learning from awkward mistakes
    Of courageous ones gifting me their trust,
    Allowing me to see things of which they are ashamed.
    Of love bestowed on me by those seemingly impaired
    Who let me see their souls, and discover how to
    LIVE.

    • hojawile says:

      Well, I’ve blundered already…as I see the other posts are incredibly witty, brief, and not drawing from the writing prompt, “My _____” which I thought was for this Wednesday…and suddenly, I realize…today is Thursday! At any rate, I need to leave for work…and learn from yet another of my own quirks!

      • BrianLeehan says:

        It’s wonderful – beautiful! But, as a journalist, I was already pondering how to edit a headline (or “hed” as we call ‘em) of that scope down to one tight, pithy line. ;-)

  28. megsylegsy says:

    Grammar student in court case. Judge says sentence dependent on primary clause.

  29. lsteadly says:

    Lexicon Survives Despite Innuendo Failure

  30. cbluntt says:

    Incomplete Sentence was sent back to the pen until sentence is complete.

  31. hadleykd says:

    Department of Wildlife warns: wherever there’s a hima or a thema, there’s a whoma and a puma.

  32. kkuehnel says:

    Elderly Writer Ostracized for the Use of Excessive Letters in the Words ‘U’ and ‘R’

    https://www.facebook.com/

  33. Linda Lee Sand says:

    Writer thinks of nothing but how tense she is or was or might be someday.

  34. Michelle Hed says:

    Oxymoron to Speak in Third Person

    contest information shared at http://www.facebook.com/michelle.hed and my blog

  35. Michelle Hed says:

    The Conjunction Train Derailed After Striking Sentences

    contest information shared at http://www.facebook.com/michelle.hed and my blog

  36. Michelle Hed says:

    Two Periods Mate! Identical Colons are Born!

    contest information shared at http://www.facebook.com/michelle.hed and my blog

  37. Michelle Hed says:

    A Noun, an Adjective and an Adverb Walk Into a Bar – Fight Ensues Over Dangling Participle

    contest information shared at http://www.facebook.com/michelle.hed and my blog

  38. Michelle Hed says:

    Articulating Authors Chat Circuitously At Local Coffee House

    contest info shared at http://www.facebook.com/michelle.hed and my blog

  39. Arazimith says:

    Study Show Writer’s Cramp Leading Cause of Irritable Bowel Syndrone

  40. Writehead says:

    Writer Falls for Mime – Words Be Gone

    Four Letter Words Banned – $#$@ – Beware Rise of The Mutants

  41. mikepascale says:

    April Fool’s Headline Contest! Starts April 1st, ends April 4th. ;-)

  42. cbluntt says:

    Helping Verbs named in class action lawsuit: Verbs explode over failure to form complete sentences.

  43. Grave Misunderstanding by Poet Dante in Response to an Irate Colleague Telling Him to “Go to Hell”

    (tweeted as @ARCook_writes)

  44. LAR1975 says:

    Oh, don’t get me started on these, Brian! (Too, too fun–reading and writing.) I also blogged this entertaining contest (at http://leighswordsmithery.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/midweek-writing-markets/) and I will try to tweet the contest later today/tonight.

    Here are a few:

    Stephen King’s Housecleaner Quits, Citing “Cleaning Bloody Typewriters” as Job Hazard

    Examples of Flowery, Purply, or Nebulous Adjectives Red-Penned by Picky, Snobbish Copyeditors—the Passive Voice is Also Struck down

    Old Maxim “Write What You Know” of Little Use in Senator’s First Novel

    Month-Long German Heavy-Metal Festival Responsible for Worldwide Shortage of Umlauts, United Nations Confirms

    Written Must Your Book Be before Sell it You Can reaches #1 on Dagobah Times Bestseller List for First-Time Author Master Yoda

    Poet Who Pierced Eyelids with Bookbinding Awl Voices “Suffering for Art” as Motive

    Reading Jane Austen Novels Found to be Efficacious Alternative to Stomach Pump, Hartonale Medical Study Indicates

  45. johobe says:

    “Save The Seals” Nova Scotia: PETA members protest increase of local book clubs.

    “I was just walking down the street” said one club member, “All of a sudden all these PETA guys surrounded me. They grabbed my books, and spray painted the pages, screaming, ‘Fur Release! Fur Release!’. Then they tore the last chapter out of every book, and took off running, but not before one of them did horrible, unmentionable things to my copy of The Tommyknockers.”

  46. Writehead says:

    Synonym Morphs Into Antonym – The Justice League of Words Crumbles

  47. Writehead says:

    Comma Comma Comma Chameleon is really a semi-colon.

  48. Writehead says:

    Exclamation point has period. Gender now known.

  49. veronica_gurlie says:

    Expert Editor States After Careful Review, “Originally, There Was No Subject Verb Agreement.”

  50. veronica_gurlie says:

    An Editor Falls Asleep On the Job, from Reading to Many Trite Poems.

  51. veronica_gurlie says:

    Poorly Written Article Recovers in Grammatically Incorrect Therapy.

  52. veronica_gurlie says:

    Writer Reaches the End of the Line and Leaves An Exclamation Mark.

  53. veronica_gurlie says:

    Peter Piper Says, “I’m Sick of People Attempting to Drag Out My Sentence. All I Did Was Pick a Peck of Pickled Peppers.”

  54. livvyrose8 says:

    Kreative Righters Pour Grammer Keeps Editers in Bizness

  55. BradB says:

    Santa seen basking on the beach with his elves and other independent clauses

  56. veronica_gurlie says:

    Famous Editor Helps the Last Remaining Sentence In a New Authors Book, Become Grammatically Correct.

  57. veronica_gurlie says:

    Poet Mocked by Poet Scholars, for Using To Many Slant Rhymes To Create A Villanelle Poem.

  58. veronica_gurlie says:

    Desperate Writer Rescues His Grammatically Incorrect Work from A Slush Pile.

  59. veronica_gurlie says:

    The Writer of the Sentence, Says In Response to the Result of the Judges Sentence, “It Was My Only Sentence. It Was to Be In Italics, But Instead, It Was Put In Bold.”

  60. veronica_gurlie says:

    Editor Uses A More Proper Approach to Disciplining a Vowel, That Was Boldly Out of Place.

  61. veronica_gurlie says:

    Young Editor Discovers a Lost Sentence, On the Bottom of the Last Page of a Book.

  62. trvlgrl81 says:

    New Study: Conjugation makes verb tense! Pronoun faction wants to help.

  63. Turtle8 says:

    Hopefully the “Subject-Verb” between And, But will Decrease Passive Sentences.

  64. ngrinter says:

    Period suffers heart attack chasing run-on sentence

  65. Ciel_ says:

    Aspiring writer, arrested for, commacide

  66. ngrinter says:

    Guilty Subject, Verb, and Object to be sentenced today

  67. ngrinter says:

    Empty page tyranny overthrown by single word

  68. ngrinter says:

    New plunger design cures writers’ block

  69. ngrinter says:

    Jailed period nears end of sentence

  70. ngrinter says:

    Pen v. Sword in grudge match

  71. Florante Pascual says:

    Obamacare garners 7.1 million sign-ups; time for critics to call the law by its real name now

  72. Danskin says:

    Let’s eat Sarah. Let’s eat, Sarah. 100% of Sarah’s agree, the comma is vital.

  73. ebersocats says:

    Suffering from irregularity, irregular verbs seek to conform and become regular; laxi rules might aid this condition.

  74. Ahsuniv says:

    A “Hangman” based tv game show causes an uproar.

  75. atwhatcost says:

    Grammarian Past Complements for Affect

  76. Shennon says:

    Singer’s Wife Gives “a Pause” Before Accepting “Trophy”.

  77. agoodman804 says:

    Exclamation point officially named the “new period!”

  78. knitwizard66 says:

    April showers cause flooding in the Midwest; May’s flowers washed away in mudslide.

  79. Hugh Blair-Smith says:

    Pluperfect Sub “Junctive” Missing, Sought by Tense Navy

  80. knitwizard66 says:

    April Fool’s prank is no joke

  81. knitwizard66 says:

    Grammar Police arrest three, too still on the lose.

  82. Literary Lauren says:

    American Press employee arrested and fined for his participation in a hoax to “run-on” the White House lawn; when questioned about the incident, he kept repeating, “it wasn’t even write; it was supposed to be a Capitol “run-on.”

  83. IndianaDan says:

    Playwright left audience hanging, claims prosecutor.

  84. andychvt says:

    Fiscal Assault, Embattled E, Leave De-voweled Euro sign with Two Stakes in its Art

    • andychvt says:

      Probably should amend this for those unfamiliar with the Euro sign.
      Fiscal Assault, Embattled E, Leave De-voweled Euro sign € with Two Stakes in its Art”

  85. KarenDoll says:

    Dependent Clause accused of insubordination !

  86. KarenDoll says:

    Judge Semi Colon joins two independent clauses in civil ceremony at City Hall !

  87. poetrox says:

    Grammar police arrest too irregardless of there guilt.

  88. chasecanyon says:

    Hacker catches writer plagiarising

  89. ccmarches says:

    Obscure Poet Alfred Lord Tennyson Found in Niagara Falls, Says Anunnaki DO Exist!

  90. mikechinea says:

    Twitter Book Division condenses War and Peace and leaves Amazon crying foul.

  91. John O says:

    Vatican Says The Holy Grail is the Stanley Cup: Rich History of Use Since the Last Supper – Knights Templar to face off against NHL

  92. Kawanee says:

    Hopeful writer to readily admit she has absolutely no shot at winning this contest.

  93. stormy1 says:

    Two-headed teens have separate writing processes.

  94. MaryMary3 says:

    Dog Whisperer is *psssst!* by fellow Dog Whisperer.

  95. danceWrite123 says:

    After Arresting Run-Ons, Officer Blue Pencil Spent Morning in Corrections Circling Dangling Modifiers

  96. danceWrite123 says:

    After Arresting Run-Ons, Officer Blue Pencil Spent Day in Corrections Circling Dangling Modifiers

  97. Patspen says:

    Journalist sent to the pen for a run-on sentence and burying the lede.

  98. veronica_gurlie says:

    The Writer Says, “Editor did not keep his word. I was not capitalized. PERIOD.”

  99. littlefish says:

    Verb Shortage on the Rise. Authors ____ the worst.

  100. veronica_gurlie says:

    Speaker of the House is Killed for Using Proper Grammar, Around Slang Speaking Gang Member.

  101. chasecanyon says:

    Tabloid Industry Doomed When Kardashians Copywrite Letter “K”

  102. veronica_gurlie says:

    Deep Readers claim a Writers Work, Left them with To Many Exclamation Marks.

  103. RobynC says:

    NEWSFLASH

    Oxford Owl and the Blue Book of grammar now say that their, they’re, and there can be used interchangeably.

  104. veronica_gurlie says:

    Wes Cravens People Under the Stairs, Says He Tried to Imprison them in Parentheses.

  105. AJ says:

    Serial comma kills Oxford, Harvard journalism departments; police, in conjunction with school officials, investigate

  106. tomcmarshall says:

    Writers Digested at April Fools Dinner.

  107. veronica_gurlie says:

    Spoken Word Poet Mocked, for Spitting To Many Pronouns In the Judges Faces.

  108. veronica_gurlie says:

    Drunk Writer Arrested for To Many Run on Sentences.

  109. moosie40 says:

    Congress Repeals Objective Pronouns! “Between You and I” Now Legal In All 50 States!

  110. Selra says:

    Comic Book Stacks Readers Smile High

    https://www.facebook.com/selra.newrad

  111. Linda.H says:

    Amateur Author Arrested for Abuse of Alliteration

    contest info shared at: https://www.facebook.com/linda.hofke

  112. Cookiejarnett says:

    Chico ER Makes Oath to Stop Charging Readers to View Archives More Than a Week Old.

  113. Linda.H says:

    Man Who Calms Quarreling Editors in the “Oxford Comma or No Oxford Comma” Debate is Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

    I also shared the information on my FB wall.
    https://www.facebook.com/linda.hofke

  114. Debbi C. says:

    Who Ate my Crayon? Has doodled itself into the number one spot of the NY Times best seller’s list. Waxing out its competition for best “how to” for beginning writers.

  115. Amethy31 says:

    Proofreaders fired after misspelling errors cause panic in town!

  116. Zigotide says:

    Zombies march for equal rights at book launch

  117. Miriamrae says:

    Merriam-Webster Dictionary To Add Theiry’re The Dictionary: Doing Theiry’re Part To End The Grammer Wars

  118. twoeggheads says:

    Fired typist performed marginally

  119. TheWritePlace says:

    How to Write Gooder for Publication

  120. thewritescott says:

    “A Third Person Arrested in the Dangling Modifier Case.”

    I did this on twitter (@thewritescott) and my blog too. Just in case.

  121. oc_musicman says:

    Participle left dangling, “Obscene” says witnesses

  122. Amethy31 says:

    With Capital leading the..wait…no, quotation mark has Capital beat!

  123. oc_musicman says:

    Capitalization following a brief period determined too rigid for liberal pontification

  124. Vicky says:

    Writer ill with wringing wrists.

  125. Writehead says:

    2B or Not 2B – Shakespeare’s Apartment Number

  126. Vicky says:

    Illustrator ill with ignorant illusions.

  127. potzbie says:

    • VANITY PUBLISHING LOOKING GOOD

    • BOOKMAKERS BUSTED FOR ILLEGAL GAMBLING

    • ‘PRINT-ON-DEMAND’ INDUSTRY
    FEARS ‘WRITE-ON-DEMAND’ SUPPLY
    EXCEEDS ‘READ-ON’ DEMAND

    • SPELL CHECKER GOES MAD.
    ALL #&%@! BREAKS LOOSE.

    • BABY INKWELL SAD BECAUSE DADDY IS IN THE PEN;
    NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG SENTENCE TO BE

    • SHAKESPEARE’S PLAYS NOT WRITTEN BY SHAKESPEARE,
    BUT BY SOMEONE ELSE WITH SAME NAME

  128. Janice says:

    Best Seller List – Pitch Perfect!

  129. Janice says:

    Memoir – Itemized Conceit

  130. Amethy31 says:

    Punctuation race starts today-hyphen leads the way, with colon bringing up the rear!

  131. lupusgnome says:

    Papparazzi catch famous writer’s particple dangling . . .

  132. dwmarvin says:

    Jumbo Shrimp Wreaks Havoc after Being Called an Oxymoron.

  133. Elaine1 says:

    Facebook subscriber posting animal profile picture turns out to actually be cat.

  134. mainstreetmarket says:

    Join Clogged – How to Unclog your Blog – plus Top 10 Unpublished Author List

  135. Jenn says:

    BREAKING NEWS: Cliche loses his head while reading between the lines.

  136. Myria says:

    Writer Arrested For Wielding Pen

  137. Myria says:

    Two’s Debut Single ‘To’ Deemed Too Homophonic

  138. SHJwrites says:

    “We Are Overly-Dependent on Foreign Ink,” Declares U.S. Senator

  139. wlfpryor says:

    Barack Hussein Obama caught accidentally telling the truth about something. Lamestream media at a loss as to how to report it.

  140. MaryMary3 says:

    Wondering which method of extinction he favored, the Executioner was asked if he ever gave a hang.

  141. garywstout says:

    Dammit I’m Mad Proclaims Palindrome Police

  142. SHJwrites says:

    Pencil Prices Soar – Students Forced to Use Charcoal for SATs

  143. mattgreenbean says:

    Watch This Hilarious Prank On Semicolon When Comma And Period Get Together.

  144. KyleJacobson says:

    Homophonophobes prey their is know longer a knead to reed.

  145. garywstout says:

    Word To The Wise Deemed Insufficient To Properly Prepare Child’s Future

  146. EvilPRman says:

    Random acts of Capitalization sweep Freshman essays

  147. wordmage says:

    Specialists Recognize Assonance as Source of Twisted Tongue Syndrome, with Consonance a Close Second

  148. PrehistoricSpider says:

    Dangling Participle – Still Holding onto Object; Subject Naked!

  149. Emily Cooper says:

    Bitter Trial Continues Between Prescriptivists and Descriptivists: “Standard English exists for a reason” versus “Yo, pardner, like totally, j00 should be a bueno mensch and mellow out, toots.”

  150. jeffnrenae says:

    Gastroenterologist Enjoys Pieces in Writer’s Digest

    Gastroenterologist Buries Himself in Writer’s Digest

    Gastroenterologist Gets a Taste of Writer’s Digest

  151. EvilPRman says:

    Widows and Orphans Slaughtered by Microsoft Word Checkbox!

  152. Demose says:

    Friending, Texting receive lengthy sentence for verbal abuse

  153. jeanbean says:

    Exclamation points to the capitalization of-one word hyperbole for oversimplifying the issue. BAM!

  154. speert says:

    Congress Passes New Cost-Saving Bill: Letter H Eliminated. America Will Save Lots of Doug.

    Researcher Uncovers World’s Shortest 30-letter Word

  155. biehn1 says:

    9 out of 10 authors agree, words top the list as most important for thier careers.

  156. Bradley Geiser says:

    Commas Go On Strike: Grandmas Everywhere Prepare for Cannibal Apocalypse

  157. WolfsInk says:

    Infinity + 1 has been given the designation of infione in hopes of settling arguments (albeit between children).

  158. kdiggs says:

    Macbook Pro Vs. PC Computer- who will get the manuscript first?

  159. GBGhostwriter says:

    Overuse of exclamation points on Facebook and Twitter causes worldwide shortage!!!!! Can question marks be far behind?????

  160. kdiggs says:

    An editor gets arrested for the following charge; failure to edit a manuscript in a final draft.

  161. puppeterry says:

    Silent Letters Stage Mute Protest.

  162. CherylK105 says:

    Spell Check vs Auto Correct – Let the Battle for Correctness Begin

  163. kkeating1129 says:

    Justin Timberlake suggests that Vladimir Putin takes a swim in the Crimea River (Cry-Me-A-River).

  164. Michael Chase Walker says:

    Millions Flock From Church to Multiplex as “Noah” Proves ‘Better than Sunday School !’

  165. wordmage says:

    Author Shows No Remorse for Killing Darlings

  166. Otra says:

    Grammar Disappears; Grampar Arrested On Suspicion Of Murder

    Hyperbole Levels Increase A Million Percent

    Protagonist Rewrites Own Story: ‘Author got it wrong!’

    Plot-Twist Kills Ten Readers

  167. CherylK105 says:

    Grammar Police in Pursuit of Run-On Ends in Choppy Sentence

  168. From Word Salad to Alphabet Soup: How to Make a Hash of Grammar

  169. bdaniels119 says:

    Banned books fight back against uneducated parents, using words for weapons.

  170. Audra Spicer says:

    (Okay, Brian, last one, I promise!) Apostrophes? Absolished! – Its no joke – Youre in for a treat

  171. Audra Spicer says:

    (I get carried away with things like this…) Passé Parallelism – Eager for a gin, a night out, and to take a vacation from writing coherently

  172. Audra Spicer says:

    Dangling modifiers – Since hanging around, we’ve gotten used to them

  173. dpnowell says:

    OB/GYN Receives Lengthy Sentence for Failing to Help English Teacher with Contractions, Lawyer Cites ‘Imperative Mood’

  174. JWLaviguer says:

    Grammar arrested for bouncing spell checks.

  175. Ryan Moseley says:

    Dyslexic writers agree, “Palindromes love We!”

  176. thejim says:

    Author, Double Entendre, funny byline could go either way.

  177. “P” Committed to Mental Institution in Belief He Doesn’t Exist; Becomes Hysterical when told he needs to see a Psychologist

  178. Kenbob says:

    Dangling participle arrested for lewd behavior at school grammar fest.

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