Editors Blog

It’s Our 4th Annual “April Fools’ Headlines for Writers” Contest – Join in & Win Prizes!

Are you ready to have a little fun? It’s April Fools Day, which means it’s time for my annual #AprilFools4Writers contest! Here’s how it works: Create entertaining, clever and witty headlines that would appear in an Onion-style newspaper for writers about anything writing related (grammar, authors, books, etc.) and post it in any of the ways mentioned below. That’s it! That’s all you have to do. To make it extra special, I’ll up the ante: I’m giving away two prizes, The Build an Author Platform Premium Collection and a copy of the 2014 Writer’s Market Deluxe Edition. Here’s how to win one of them:

Enter this competition in any of the four ways below. Also, spread the word of it by mentioning this blog post anywhere you can and I’ll give you a second chance to win. I’ll pick the winners at random.

Here’s my first one:
aprilfools4writers-2014 How to be entered for a chance to win:

1. Post your headline in any one of these ways:

2. Share this post on your social media sites–Twitter, FB, Google+, your blog.
If you post on Twitter, include my handle @BrianKlems so I can track it. If you post on FB, Google+ or post on your blog, include the link below in the comments section. Here’s a sample that you can use anywhere:
Tweet: Like April Fool's Day? Enter the @WritersDigest #AprilFools4Writers contest. It's free! Details: http://ctt.ec/ay3EJ+ (via @BrianKlems)

 

Like April Fool’s Day? Enter the @WritersDigest #AprilFools4Writers contest. It’s free! Details: http://bit.ly/1jUbnq1 (via @BrianKlems) [Click here to Tweet this]

 

If you want to be eligible for prizes, you have to do both. Deadline is Friday, April 4, 2014 at noon EDT. (So you have all week to participate!) I will announce the winners and post some of my favorite entries next Monday, April 7 right here on this blog. Remember, enter because it’s fun—as a bonus, you could walk away with one of these:

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P.S. Want to win even bigger prizes and receive prestigious awards? Check out other Writer’s Digest writing contests.

Thanks for visiting The Writer’s Dig blog. For more great writing advice, click here.

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brian-klems-2013

Brian A. Klems is the online editor of Writer’s Digest and author of the popular gift book Oh Boy, You’re Having a Girl: A Dad’s Survival Guide to Raising Daughters.

Follow Brian on Twitter: @BrianKlems
Sign up for Brian’s free Writer’s Digest eNewsletter: WD Newsletter

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210 thoughts on “It’s Our 4th Annual “April Fools’ Headlines for Writers” Contest – Join in & Win Prizes!

  1. like to write

    2014 Authors stricken with WRITER’S BLOCK are banned access to group retreats.

    Passive voices were overrun yesterday by agitated active verbs.

  2. kbaktygul

    1. Modern version of ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ “Call of the Doll” by Marry Christen is ready to drop you into the depth of dark reality and toss to the sky light to experience emotion from the motion.

    2.Chris Hoover claims to grab the attention of the indigo book readers with his “I have a rendezvous with rosemary” promising virtual flight in a sky-high level.

  3. teriwrites

    Period stops a sentence in the name of Punctuation.

    Editor drowns in a slush pile.

    Conjunction Junction train derails. Grammarians develop nervous twitch.

    Editor divorces husband over his misspelled text: “What are you up too?”

    Grammarian strangles a dangling modifier. Film at 11.

    Rule about “No Rules” ruled out in court.

  4. kbaktygul

    1. Modern version of ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ “Call of the Doll” by Marry Christen is ready to drop you into the depth of dark reality and toss to the sky light to experience emotion from the motion.

    2.Chris Hoover claims to grab the attention of the indigo book readers with his “I have a rendezvous with rosemary” promising virtual fly in a sky-high level.

  5. Tom Bentley

    Oh dangit, I forgot to include your Twitter handle Bryan, though I did use the #AprilFools4Writers hashtag when I posted. Anyway, these were mine:

    Bukowski codes popular location-sharing app that pinpoints racetracks with cheap beer

    Sherlock Holmes finds Gone Girl; she’d been hiking in the wild with Cheryl Strayed

    Eeyore sues Pooh for “persistently sunny attitude”; claims all future tails in damages.

    T.S. Eliot confesses scholarly glasses a prop; declares he wrote “Waste Land” in haze of Cheetos and Bud Lite binge

    Horton, weeping, admits to actually hearing a “whom.” Quietly surrenders to grammar police.

    Cormac McCarthy brutally beaten by Punctuation League president wielding outsize semicolon

    thanks, Tom

  6. Robin Weidner

    Ready to press pause? Em and En, of the new YA novel Dash, can help you.

    Readers and critics alike are raving about Dash, the fast-paced, dystopian YA tale of star-crossed runners Emily and Enyn (Em and En).

    “Em and En gave me pause! Rapturous!” NY Times Book Review
    “Can Em and En co-exist? Revolutionary!” LA Times
    “Dash is well-placed…bursting with voice, ultimately lending attention to the very act of composition.” NPR’s Fresh Air
    “Will Em choose En or Hy? And why is she attracted to shorter men?” Goodreads

  7. hojawile

    My Beauty
    A blind friend sees things I do not
    With the beautiful eyes of her soul.
    Another, short of breath,
    Breathes praise of her Creator,
    Not an ounce of bitterness about her condition.
    One cannot hear
    But his joyous laughter is music to me.
    A little girl on one leg of her own, and
    Four more provided by a walker
    Hobbles happily as any child across a zoo.

    All of these live without deformity,
    Without limitation.
    And I?
    With my extremities intact
    And all else functioning as it ought to be
    Except for the misery I’ve invited
    By choices of inner malfunction?

    Do I limit myself
    By taking in what packages call “food?”
    By going on guilt trips I can’t afford?
    By taking on tasks that belong to the Lord?
    By fretting and fuming and more?
    Do I write cheap rhymes instead of
    Being willing to explore?

    Embrace the beautiful!
    You’ll find beauty all around you,
    In a cleft lip smile.
    In legs that need a day to walk a mile.
    In the quirky wardrobe of unique style.
    The underweight and overfed,
    Courage grasped by one who lived in dread,
    All have something to be said.

    This so-called poem is awkward.
    It breaks so many rules.
    We look around us with critical eye…
    Someone does not follow OUR rules
    Of looking…or sounding…or smelling
    “Beautiful.”
    A trial we did not choose,
    Or maybe we caused,
    Seems hideous, unfair, unjust.
    But every person, every challenge
    IS beautiful
    When we learn from him, from her, from it.

    My beauty comes of learning from awkward mistakes
    Of courageous ones gifting me their trust,
    Allowing me to see things of which they are ashamed.
    Of love bestowed on me by those seemingly impaired
    Who let me see their souls, and discover how to
    LIVE.

    1. hojawile

      Well, I’ve blundered already…as I see the other posts are incredibly witty, brief, and not drawing from the writing prompt, “My _____” which I thought was for this Wednesday…and suddenly, I realize…today is Thursday! At any rate, I need to leave for work…and learn from yet another of my own quirks!

      1. BrianLeehan

        It’s wonderful – beautiful! But, as a journalist, I was already pondering how to edit a headline (or “hed” as we call ‘em) of that scope down to one tight, pithy line. ;-)

  8. LAR1975

    Oh, don’t get me started on these, Brian! (Too, too fun–reading and writing.) I also blogged this entertaining contest (at http://leighswordsmithery.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/midweek-writing-markets/) and I will try to tweet the contest later today/tonight.

    Here are a few:

    Stephen King’s Housecleaner Quits, Citing “Cleaning Bloody Typewriters” as Job Hazard

    Examples of Flowery, Purply, or Nebulous Adjectives Red-Penned by Picky, Snobbish Copyeditors—the Passive Voice is Also Struck down

    Old Maxim “Write What You Know” of Little Use in Senator’s First Novel

    Month-Long German Heavy-Metal Festival Responsible for Worldwide Shortage of Umlauts, United Nations Confirms

    Written Must Your Book Be before Sell it You Can reaches #1 on Dagobah Times Bestseller List for First-Time Author Master Yoda

    Poet Who Pierced Eyelids with Bookbinding Awl Voices “Suffering for Art” as Motive

    Reading Jane Austen Novels Found to be Efficacious Alternative to Stomach Pump, Hartonale Medical Study Indicates

  9. johobe

    “Save The Seals” Nova Scotia: PETA members protest increase of local book clubs.

    “I was just walking down the street” said one club member, “All of a sudden all these PETA guys surrounded me. They grabbed my books, and spray painted the pages, screaming, ‘Fur Release! Fur Release!’. Then they tore the last chapter out of every book, and took off running, but not before one of them did horrible, unmentionable things to my copy of The Tommyknockers.”

  10. veronica_gurlie

    The Writer of the Sentence, Says In Response to the Result of the Judges Sentence, “It Was My Only Sentence. It Was to Be In Italics, But Instead, It Was Put In Bold.”

  11. Literary Lauren

    American Press employee arrested and fined for his participation in a hoax to “run-on” the White House lawn; when questioned about the incident, he kept repeating, “it wasn’t even write; it was supposed to be a Capitol “run-on.”

    1. andychvt

      Probably should amend this for those unfamiliar with the Euro sign.
      Fiscal Assault, Embattled E, Leave De-voweled Euro sign € with Two Stakes in its Art”

  12. potzbie

    • VANITY PUBLISHING LOOKING GOOD

    • BOOKMAKERS BUSTED FOR ILLEGAL GAMBLING

    • ‘PRINT-ON-DEMAND’ INDUSTRY
    FEARS ‘WRITE-ON-DEMAND’ SUPPLY
    EXCEEDS ‘READ-ON’ DEMAND

    • SPELL CHECKER GOES MAD.
    ALL #&%@! BREAKS LOOSE.

    • BABY INKWELL SAD BECAUSE DADDY IS IN THE PEN;
    NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG SENTENCE TO BE

    • SHAKESPEARE’S PLAYS NOT WRITTEN BY SHAKESPEARE,
    BUT BY SOMEONE ELSE WITH SAME NAME

  13. Emily Cooper

    Bitter Trial Continues Between Prescriptivists and Descriptivists: “Standard English exists for a reason” versus “Yo, pardner, like totally, j00 should be a bueno mensch and mellow out, toots.”

  14. jeffnrenae

    Gastroenterologist Enjoys Pieces in Writer’s Digest

    Gastroenterologist Buries Himself in Writer’s Digest

    Gastroenterologist Gets a Taste of Writer’s Digest

  15. speert

    Congress Passes New Cost-Saving Bill: Letter H Eliminated. America Will Save Lots of Doug.

    Researcher Uncovers World’s Shortest 30-letter Word

  16. Otra

    Grammar Disappears; Grampar Arrested On Suspicion Of Murder

    Hyperbole Levels Increase A Million Percent

    Protagonist Rewrites Own Story: ‘Author got it wrong!’

    Plot-Twist Kills Ten Readers

  17. Audra Spicer

    (I get carried away with things like this…) Passé Parallelism – Eager for a gin, a night out, and to take a vacation from writing coherently

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