The Day Before -Feedback Welcome

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  writer_guy 5 months ago.

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  • #346733

    carissaalderson
    Participant

    I was going to say

    I think I’ve lost my mind

    But that wouldn’t be descriptive enough

    When every day I try to find

    my thoughts from the day before

    I’ve written things I never remember

    There are feelings I cannot recall

    How can I be in love,

    if I don’t remember the fall?

    https://scrapbookofamind.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-day-before.html

  • #655406

    writer_guy
    Participant

    Hi there! I didn’t like the sound of the word “descriptive” and thought also that your rhyming scheme is inconsistent, but I think you’ll get there – keep it up!

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