May 22, 2018 at 9:57 pm #346991
I’m afraid… I’m terrified, yet i work both sides like a Gemini
I have pain and sadness
But on the flip side
There’s gladness with a smile.
Don’t get me wrong because i know you will
I have a secret that I am willing to spill.
Did you ever truly love me or was I a toy, someone to play with when your alone.
Please don’t hate me for thinking these things,
You can despise
Just hear me out before the sunrise…
Have i hurt you?
I know i have,
For that I am sorry.
Its not much but its all I have,
I’m rotten and spoilt like a frightened child.
I wish you well.
It breaks my heart,
To see us be apart.
All i ever wanted was YOU.
And for you to love me and never leave me.
To hold me close and make a promise to my heart
Instead I got told that you do not LOVE.
I don’t understand that I am not worth life?
Should I take my life, no
Should I stay in this, I don’t know
Do I love you? Yes
I only hate because I’m hurt
I have more worries than a hearse
I am tormented by demons from the past
I cant fight them when I’m made out of glass.
I want to want you yet I’m so broken that i do not know you.
I don’t know myself in that regard.
I am so sorry
All i ever wanted was for us to be in-love to touch and feel the heights of the universe
But i guess its too late I have pushed you away and you to me..
I beg you to not leave me, just to hold me and have me and complete me..
I know you don’t want me and it tears me apart how could we both take it this far?
I thought we’d be more than that instead I’ve failed to react,
You are worth more, you are a good person
I am sorry that I have maimed your identity
And threatened your mind, body and spirit.
You see I am spiritual and loving and kind yet I have so much more deep, deep inside…
I have rage, I have bad days of remorse..
I am not happy within myself and I’ve taken that out on you.
I’ve used you like your my only victim like when you vent off in the kitchen..
See I’m not nice and I can be dark,
I’m just as confused as someone standing in the dark
I am lost
I am found
I have tried to drown it out.
I’ve used drugs, alcohol and pharmaceutical.
I have tried to drown myself and stop breathing.
See in my heart I am still grieving.
May 29, 2018 at 8:48 pm #656021
Welcome to the forums.
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