HElp with story

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 7 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #346761


    SO it all started when I was 16,during my teenage years it was all about wearing the latest trends and so on I have always

    stayed away from the smokers gang/the most cleverest people it was just me and nicole .The bell rings and everyone is

    rushing down the corradoor,no need to look at your me it was (whats next?art or english) Any way everyone picks

    up their bags that are beside the next class that was all thrown down,the bags wear nearly all the same ,the only way to

    find your bag is the one that has your friends initials drawn on with Tipex all scrached and worn apart.EVeryone is in

    some weird line busy like a bee flyinh around crazyly.Now Im 18 All my friends have grown up and I am classafied as

    broadaline personailty disorder/anoreix/bulimic pycopath..It was all a blurr I hear a voice soft caring voice “Wake

    up,Wake up” I give a groan “Okay Ill get up if you make me some breakfast””No problem,ruinny ,2slices of toast,cuppa tea

    with 3sugars?”I look out the window,its bright and I’m ready for the day I peer @ my door that has my planner ,Arts and

    crafts,clean chore,. Breakfast was nice screw soilders I eat my egg on the toast and eaten like a sandwhich.Its time to

    wake up and smell the coffee theres nothing interesting that I want to do ,maybe some colouring in,I like that or go on

    youtube and watch seasme street to cheer me up.

  • #655474


    Hi yelloducky.

    I had a difficult time reading and comprehending this part of your story. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and format are needed. All these things add to the excitement of the story and help the reader to follow your written path.

    If you make changes I’ll check back for another read through.

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