March 31, 2018 at 2:10 am #346884
I have been struggling with my online presence lately and I’m finding myself wanting to be less and less online. I’m finding hidden ways people steal/collect your information and such… Its freaking me out. I also notice where ever I go since I am not an eloquent speaker whatever I may ask or say gets misconstrued badly and makes me look like a terrible person, like I’m ignorant, or even down right arrogant when I try like mad to be humble. Everything a person says or does online can damn them because anything can be twisted or taken out of context. What is a person to do? I’m in the process of abandoning social media altogether. I just found out most the sites I am on do not allow you to deactivate your accounts change usernames and such. You see I was taught as part of the millennial generation since high school that we need to market and brand ourselves online place up or info for employers and such and carry an online presence. I look back on all of this with the recent issues with people being hacked though apps and social media and I can’t help but feel like social media is a giant scam to get your info and sell it. It was a clever lie they told us. We were told we needed to get with the new technology… Most of these sites I have joined, I did so when I was young and incapable of understanding the true consequences with using such technology.
Aside from this a more personal reason for wanting to leave social media is because I want to get back to my life. I was never really a fan of FB and hardly used it but I do have a few places I frequent most. I feel as if the are more of a distraction to things that are most important. I find myself struggling to stay on top of my art and writing and even find myself wanting to spend more time outside and with my family. (run-on sentence lol…)
What do you guys do? How do you cope? Am I just paranoid? Or am I paranoid for the right reasons?
March 31, 2018 at 3:55 am #655768
I think you’re paranoid for the right reasons. I’ve never bought into this idea that you HAVE to have an online presence. I know a lot of successful people who show up here and there, now and then, and otherwise they have nothing to do with social media. And yeah, the media companies make it seem like you’re some kind of neanderthal if you don’t use them. 🙄 But the biggest problem people have with privacy is that they give their information so freely online. For many, it’s like they think they’re mailing a letter and only the person they’re talking to can see it – but they practically advertise when they’re going on vacation! Hey, burglars – the house will be totally empty for the next two weeks! Help yourselves! Same goes for really personal information.
So yeah, I have a FB account (mostly for political “discussions” 😕 ) that I visit once or twice a day (sometimes only every couple of days) and I have a couple blogs that I haven’t looked at for months. But I don’t fill out the profiles (even here I’m sketchy at best), and I almost never fill out those cute “what flower are you” things; I don’t even like mentioning family members because I don’t want to invade their privacy inadvertently.
I agree with you, mainly. We’ve just gotten into this mindset that just because we have all these places online we should participate – but why? It’s like all these people who get scam phone calls – why are they answering their phones when they don’t know who that number belongs to? Because it’s ringing! OMG! Have to answer! Have to!
It’s all a matter of taking back control. I don’t have to go on FB every five minutes; I don’t have to answer my phone; I don’t have to read my emails every ten minutes. The internet is a tool I use, but I have a life offline and it’s infinitely more interesting. 🙂
March 31, 2018 at 1:24 pm #655769
I agree, too. I am trying to get away from using the Internet and have shut down Twitter, my Facebook author page, and Linked In. Nor will I continue building a web page, but will let it lapse when due for renewal.
My son and daughter-in-law bought me a laptop for Christmas because I had mentioned some time ago that I wanted to write electronically but not have a connection to the Internet. The one they gave me is, however, reliant on the Internet to receive Word and Excel. Now I am looking into ways of having what I need downloaded onto the laptop and disconnecting the Internet. All I want is the equivalent of an electric typewriter with a connection to a printer so that I can print out my work when necessary.
I suppose that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, given that I use Smashwords and Amazon to market my novels.
March 31, 2018 at 5:41 pm #655770
I don’t use Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media. They’re simply big time sucks, and I have no use for them. And they keep getting hacked.
The only sites I visit regularly are this one, Rob’s Writers Writing site, Netflix, and Amazon. Otherwise I have much better things to do with my time–such as writing.
And no, I don’t buy into that c**p that you have to have an online presence to be successful. In the fiction world at least, you have to write a good story. That’s what will get you published.
March 31, 2018 at 9:33 pm #655771
I heard a guy on the radio basically say that if you opt-out of spam, you just confirmed to the spammer that you are a real person and therefore the spammer can send you more spam.
April 1, 2018 at 3:02 am #655772
Dreams of Tanelorn wrote:
> I heard a guy on the radio basically say that if you opt-out of spam, you
> just confirmed to the spammer that you are a real person and therefore the
> spammer can send you more spam.
Not sure what you mean by “opt-out of spam”. With email, you can mark stuff as spam without opening it; with phone calls, if you don’t answer, they don’t know if it’s an active phone number or not. It’s if you actively respond (open the email, answer the phone) that they know it’s valid and they’ll keep hounding you.
April 1, 2018 at 2:25 pm #655773
I heard a saying once. I can’t find the source, so I’ll paraphrase:
In any task for which we have passion, there are a thousand reasons to quit, but only one reason to continue: Because it’s what we dream.
I don’t write because people like what I write. I’m glad when they do. Even though it takes effort now and again, I write because it’s what I do. What I am.
I know that you’ve had some bad experiences with online interactions. I won’t pretend to know how deep that cut. I just know that when it’s all said and done, I write. That’s who I am.
If you’re worried about what people will think, then you’re not writing. Don’t give it all up. Take a break. Promise yourself that you won’t sign in to all that social media stuff for, say, two weeks. And live up to that promise.
And write. Just write. Not because of what someone said or didn’t say. Write because you love writing. Because you can’t imagine not writing.
April 3, 2018 at 12:51 pm #655774
As for an online presence, I think it depends on your audience. If you are writing YA and don’t have a presence then you’re wasting time trying to make it as a YA writer. This is a very engaged group when it come to the internet – between Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr and YouTube, you need to jump into this realm because it is their realm and they share it and sew it together with ease. If you can’t find a way to engage yourself in this stream they will opt to not bother with you because the internet is a very big part of their lives.
I am working on a sequel to my Bigfoot adventure/horror book precisely because of FB. My audience isn’t YA but have a FB-Instagram presence. I was contacted via my author page on FB that I should write a sequel. I am closing in on the first draft of that sequel.
Is social media a big time suck – if you let it, yes. If you are disciplined then no. I find myself somewhere in between on that. You can say that this forum is a time suck if you let it.
I will say this, FB has been the biggest key to my success as an independent author. I don’t have a lot of followers but I am not this uber content guy either – but getting better at more engagement. However, lots of people drop by as FB is good about letting you know if someone has visited your page. Also, FB is about the best money spent when it comes to advertising at a cost and finding your market niche.
April 19, 2018 at 6:22 pm #655775
Just because one is paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get one. Or two or a dozen. 😆
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