Anyone want to Swap Scripts or just give feedback?

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This topic contains 32 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 11 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #346430

    Anonymous

    I’ll swap scripts of similar length and trade feedback or you can just read any of these and let me know what you think.

    All Access; Raspberry, WV.(28 pgs) Mockumentary TV pilot. A documentary crew follows the lives of Liberals and Conservatives revolving around the Public Access channel they are involved with, in a tiny West Virginia town. I tr to playfully mock both sides of the political aisle and how divided we are.

    Lessons in Capitalism (94pgs) Comedy feature. After a down on his luck Janitor overhears the owner of his companies plans to rip-off the employees he must team up with the CEO, the owners son to stop him.

    Virus (55pgs) Animated Sci-fi/comedy/thriller TV Pilot. It’s the year 3000 the universe has been colonized and commercialized, religion has been abolished and Aliens have revealed themselves. A drug addicted hitman wakes up with virtually no memory and a list of people he’s taken.

    Unfollow (97 pgs) Comedy/Satire feature. A Hollywood extra becomes a worldwide phenomenon after accidentally unfollowing the world most famous Actress on Twitter. A satire of Social media, Hollywood and Screenwriting.

    Hellbent (89 pgs) Action/Horror. The top female NCAA athlete becomes the target of a deranged man young man with supernatural powers. My attempt at a female led action movie.

  • #654140

    Anonymous

    No swap. Willing to look at one of the first two listed. Where do we dl them from ?

  • #654141

    Anonymous
    plughmann wrote:
    No swap. Willing to look at one of the first two listed. Where do we dl them from ?

    Coo. I’ll shoot you a pm of them both. Read how much you like. No hurry.

  • #654142

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    No swap. Willing to look at one of the first two listed. Where do we dl them from ?

    Coo. I’ll shoot you a pm of them both. Read how much you like. No hurry.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Roger that.

    Got it and got them.

    What sort of comments are you interested in?

  • #654143

    Anonymous
    plughmann wrote:
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    No swap. Willing to look at one of the first two listed. Where do we dl them from ?

    Coo. I’ll shoot you a pm of them both. Read how much you like. No hurry.

    Roger that.

    Got it and got them.

    What sort of comments are you interested in?

    Whatever comes to mind. You don’t have to sugarcoat anything you don’t like.

  • #654144

    Anonymous

    I’m interested in ‘All Access’, if you’ll share. I have nothing to swap with you because this will be my first time seeing a properly written script. I learned to write scripts one way in my video courses, but I never got into it outside of my own projects so I’m curious to see how an actual script-writer does it.

  • #654145

    Anonymous
    Carl Slate wrote:
    I’m interested in ‘All Access’, if you’ll share. I have nothing to swap with you because this will be my first time seeing a properly written script. I learned to write scripts one way in my video courses, but I never got into it outside of my own projects so I’m curious to see how an actual script-writer does it.

    Cool. PM sent.

  • #654146

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    No swap. Willing to look at one of the first two listed. Where do we dl them from ?

    Coo. I’ll shoot you a pm of them both. Read how much you like. No hurry.

    Roger that.

    Got it and got them.

    What sort of comments are you interested in?

    ========
    Whatever comes to mind. You don’t have to sugarcoat anything you don’t like.



    Good. I wouldn’t want ostarella getting upset cause my comments didn’t meet her criteria for them.

  • #654147

    Anonymous
    Carl Slate wrote:
    I’m interested in ‘All Access’, if you’ll share. I have nothing to swap with you because this will be my first time seeing a properly written script. I learned to write scripts one way in my video courses, but I never got into it outside of my own projects so I’m curious to see how an actual script-writer does it.

    The scripts are formatted and WGA registered.
    They will be good samples.

    There are books and web sites on scripts that show formatting that is usual.
    There are sites where you can dl scripts to study.

    Be careful as some of them you find at script sites are shooting scripts and you should not do that with your script but let the director and rewrite folks add those things.

    I found hateful8 by Tarantino on line and read it, then saw the movie. Big difference between original script and final result.

  • #654148

    Anonymous
    plughmann wrote:
    Carl Slate wrote:
    I’m interested in ‘All Access’, if you’ll share. I have nothing to swap with you because this will be my first time seeing a properly written script. I learned to write scripts one way in my video courses, but I never got into it outside of my own projects so I’m curious to see how an actual script-writer does it.

    The scripts are formatted and WGA registered.
    They will be good samples.

    There are books and web sites on scripts that show formatting that is usual.
    There are sites where you can dl scripts to study.

    Be careful as some of them you find at script sites are shooting scripts and you should not do that with your script but let the director and rewrite folks add those things.

    I found hateful8 by Tarantino on line and read it, then saw the movie. Big difference between original script and final result.

    Good points all around.

    Here’s a massive database of various feature and TV scripts for anyone. One of the best learning tools and inspiration for any aspiring screenwriter is reading pro scripts.

    http://www.screenplaysandscripts.com/index.html

  • #654149

    Anonymous

    @rljon

    Getting awkward trying to read this online.
    Tried to save PDF and print but I got an html page. Hope it will print.

    Lessons in Capitalism.
    I see two of you wrote it. I tried writing with others but it never worked out well.
    Any tips on how to make that work?

    Do you have a beat sheet or a synopsis?

    Formatting seems fine.

    I did 25/94 pages of LIC. Interesting. But a bit slow with all the establishment of characters and situation.
    A couple of items I don’t understand but probably younger viewers would.

    Rohith and Michael being so close seems strange. Ditto for Jason being close at all although the MBA sort of explains that away.

    Alyssa jogs to ask a question and then didnt. Maybe use another reason to see Michael in the garage. And him sort of asking her out seems out of place, and her comment on putting out even more so. And later in bed after one date. Not believable. Is this a generation issue? I am a lot older than you are for sure.

    Grandparents leaving apartment for motel does not seem realistic. Can’t the kids just go to his room and do it ?

    Vague references by Jason to catching the old man who had done things in the past finally adds a little motivation.
    I hope he actually did something a lot worse than before.

    ….

    Have you looked at any of Dov S-S Simons materials?

  • #654150

    Anonymous

    Thanks for your time and thoughts.

    We exchanged script feedback on a few different comedy scripts we wrote separately. Talked about that and other stuff for a bit. Kept in touch over a few months. He eventually asked me if I wanted to potentially collaborate on something. He showed me a 60 page very rough draft of what this script would eventually become. He didn’t think there was much there but I saw some potential in it, added some ideas and suggestions and we took it from there. I’d say get to know the person first and respect each others POV and capabilities.

    She asks him what he was doing with Jason. But we’ve been thinking about changing the garage scene.

    I agree the quick relationships; both Alyssa and Michael’s and Jason and Michael becoming friends is something we have to think about and have been working on.

    I don’t agree about Rohith though. They are co-workers around the same age, both can be the butt of jokes at times and regardless of their positions people become friends at offices all the time.

    I haven’t thought about the grandparents thing so much. I guess they know how embarrassed he is living with them and how lonely and too himself he’s been since his break-up with his ex.

    All this helps. You definitely confirmed a few thing we’ve already been questioning.

    No, who is that?

  • #654151

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:

    All this helps. You definitely confirmed a few thing we’ve already been questioning.

    No, who is that?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    It was a draft so I would expect you to tweak it as you went back over it. I could see it being an hour TV show as a short movie.

    I would suggest you do a beat sheet. Lay out every scene and make sure they all fall like dominoes (with allowance for subplots branching).
    It is easier to fill holes and delete excess when you are at a high level view not down in the dialogue.

    I do the rough architecture with 3×5 cards as it is easier for me that way, then as I refine with details I use a PC.

    A good way is to use excel. Columns for scene number, who, what , why , when , where and how. Plus others with notes as useful like main, subplot 1, etc.
    Fill in just what is pertinent to recalling the scene and knowing how it fits.
    Then actually writing the scenes is easy and you make sure you dont waste time with needless rework.

    as to Dov:
    I read his book reel to deal a couple decades back. Dov makes a lot of sense.
    Check the book at the library. Buy his DVD package for a very cheap total education about making movies.

    See the links below and also check out his blog for tips.

    https://www.writersstore.com/authors/dov-s-s-simens/

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/dov-s-s-simens-900a0522

    https://www.webfilmschool.com/

    http://www.webfilmschool.com/4-screenwriting-secrets-this-is-a-must-read-3-4-are-super-great/

    Everyone believes that a “Reader” … can tell if your script stinks within 10 pages… is a bloody-bloody-lie…

    Why?

    Answer: I used to be a “Reader” and did “Coverage” (2-page Book/Script Evaluations) during my first 3 years in Hollywood, while chasing-the-deal, and have read over 2,000 scripts (paid $25-$25 in 1981-1984) and the phrase that “You can tell if a script stinks by reading 10 pages” is bullsh*t for you, if an accomplished “Reader”, can tell if a script stinks by only READING 1-PAGE.

    Cut this crap with spending 7-10 pages establishing characters, settings and atmospheres.
    And, yes, most readers toss your script after 1-page… So you better make your first page unbelievably great.

    You’ve spent a year-or-two writing your script. You are sure it’s great.

    You are already practicing your Oscar acceptance speech.

    But, you must first have your script read by someone like me, an A-Hole, still naïve, still a little arrogant and thinking he/she’s really a producer, but (alas poor Yorick) he/she is temporarily out of money, and to pay rent is reading scripts at $25-$45 a pop for lazy producers who I’m sure he/she believes he/she is better than.

    Point is you are going to send your script to a person who (A) is not excited about reading another script, (B) is paid very little money and (C) really thinks he/she is a producer-in-training… and has a very negative attitude.

    Thus, you better GRAB THE READER instantly.

    Also, the average TV viewer, with a remote in his/her hand, and a universe of 100 channels to view has an attention span of only 15-seconds.

    And if 1-Page of script, formatted (typed) properly is approximately 1-minute of running time…. And if there are about 24 lines/page….then 15-seconds in should be approximately Line 6.

    You better make your LINE-6 of PAGE-1 a great line that hooks the reader…. Grab-the Reader.

    Actually you need 2 GRABBERS!

    As stated, grab him/her on page-1 of your script by LINE-6 (Grab #1)….

    read it all at the link above

    SUMMARY: IF you are not going to produce your own film then you need to get by the gatekeepers and that means grab them early and often.
    IMHO he is a bit overstated as to line 6 but the point is don’t take 25 pages to show some motivation for everything that is happening.

  • #654152

    Anonymous

    PS

    http://www.webfilmschool.com/no-bull-blog/ — many tips he also has another blog location (maybe more)

    http://www.webfilmschool.com/no-bull-screenwriting-5-good-8-bad-signs-bonus-the-script-formula/
    see the link for the signs

    STEP 1 (TITLE: 1-Hour): Type the Title in 1-3 words.

    STEP 2 (THEME: 1-Hour): Type the Theme of the movie in 5-8 words.

    STEP 3 (PITCH: 1-Hour): Type the Pitch or Logline, stating Good Guy, Bad Guy, Setting, Situation & Conflict in 15-25 words.

    STEP 4 (TREATMENT: 1-Day): Type the Treatment in 3 pages stating Act I (Beginning, Page 1), Act II (Middle, Page 2) and Act III (End, Page 3)

    STEP 4A (ACT I: 1-Hour): Within 3-4 lines clearly state the 5Ws & H (Who, What, Where, When, Why & How)

    STEP 4B (ACT III: 1-Hour): Within 1-2 paragraphs describe the ending (Cut-To-The-Chase, Twist, Surprise, Culmination, Resolution, Epilogue)

    STEP 4C (ACT II: 3-Hours): Outline 11 Scenes, the Structure of your story (5 Uh-Ohs, 5 Oh-Shoots & 1 OMG).

    STEP 5 (BEAT SHEET: 2-Days): Diagram your 40-50 Scenes (11-14 for ACT I), (8-10 for ACT III) and (25-30 for ACT II)

    STEP 6 (1st DRAFT: 3-Weeks): Get either Celtx or Final Draft software and type 90-120 pages (see below, 6A, B & C) one scene at-a-time.

    STEP 6A (SCENE I, Week #1): Type 17-26 Pages: Scene #1 (1-2 Pages, Monday), Scene #2 (1-2 Pages, Tuesday), Scene #3 (1-2 Pages, Wednesday), Scene #4 (1-2 Pages, Thursday), Scenes #5-8 (6-8 Pages, Friday), Scenes #9-14 (6-10 Pages, Saturday)1

    STEP 6B (SCENE III, Week #2): Type 8-20 Pages: the 8-10 Scenes for ACT III at 1-2 pages each.

    STEP 6C (SCENE II, WEEK #3): Type 65-75 Pages: the Big Middle (aka: The Story), the 25-30 scenes that comprise the 5 Uh-Ohs & 5 Oh-Shits.

    STEP 7 (COVERAGE: 3-Days): Send this Script out for Independent Script Coverage ($75-$95) from three independent readers.
    [ PERSONALLY I WOULD EDIT AND REVISE AND TRY SOME BETA READERS BEFORE SPENDING ANY MONEY. ]

    STEP 8 (2nd Draft: 2-Weeks): Nothing is Written… It’s Re-Written. According to Script Coverage recommendations while focusing on Dialogue, Dialogue & Dialogue do your Re-Write

    STEP 9 (CYA: 2-Hours): Cover Your Ass. Register (WGA.org) and Copyright (LOC.gov) your script.

    STEP 10 (SELL): Get either an Agent, a Manager or an Entertainment Attorney and send your script to Production Companies with Development Deals with Studios & Networks and prepare for “pitch meetings” and “deal making negotiations”.
    [ HIS BLOGS AND COURSE EXPLAIN STEPS LIKE THIS. ]

  • #654153

    Anonymous

    Thanks for the links I use Save the cat and few different outline templates.

  • #654154

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    Thanks for the links I use Save the cat and few different outline templates.

    I like save the cat.
    With a variation on snowflake with a few of my own ideas mixed in.

  • #654155

    Anonymous

    rljon,

    Well, I just typed in a rather in-depth critique for your “All Access” script, but then only to discover that this forum had logged me out while I was typing it for whatever reason. So, it is gone forever, and I’m not going to type the whole thing all over again. I’ll try to summarize…

    Please, don’t anyone get offended. The nature of the script in question was one designed to poke fun at people’s political sensitivities. What I am about to say is intended in that same way.

    It’s a great idea, but I didn’t find it funny. The liberals were not very liberal-y and the conservatives were not very conservative-y. I think you missed the mark on both of them. There was some jokes in the last five or so pages that made me laugh, but I didn’t notice any comedy throughout the rest of it. I think there is a lot of opportunity to make it funnier by making the characters less centrist-y and really hammer on stereotypes as hard as you can.

    Conservatives are obsessed with religion, liberals are obsessed with labels. Conservatives care most about whatever the churches are hot on this week, and liberals care most about whatever happens to be the viral meme of the moment. Conservatives are notorious for demonstrating a total incomprehension of science, and liberals are notorious for having a double-standard on just about everything.

    Think about playing with that stuff a bit. They are clichés for a good reason- conservatives and liberals confirm those stereotypical traits commonly, and it is a source of constant hilarity. I would love to see you make this script something that everyone on both sides can enjoy together for the same reason.

  • #654156

    Anonymous

    Fair points. With the conservatives I was mocking gun rights, love for law and order and patriotism, I threw some religions stuff in there. With Liberals gender, being white and upper middle class while hating the white upper middle class, using minorites and just calling America mean in general. Also some recent hypocrisies.

  • #654157

    Anonymous

    After reading All Access I can make some general comments.
    Agree mostly with what Carl Slate said above.

    I found it hard to follow in my head even after printing it. It might work better on screen as it is easier to keep characters straight.

    I think there may be minor formatting issues, but I would have to reread a couple of my formatting books to be sure.
    Certainly the writer’s name on the title page page is needed.

    At places it seemed to also be shooting oriented and not appropriate for a spec script.
    EG a small town festival is adequate. The director will fill in the kids running and what they were doing etc. based on his vision and the budget.
    At some points the extra detail it was necessary to know what was happening, but not in all cases.

    I was unclear about the talking heads. Did you mean CU? To me talking head is an XCU on TV. Were there TVs at the festival?

    Some of the slang seemed to be west coast gang or inner city style not West Virginia.

    Not sure why you used VOs and O.S. instead of just a CU of the speaker.

    The people approaching cameras and talking seems odd. Are there a lot of people using smart phones to record the festival or what?
    I would prefer he be walking with someone and talking to them while omitting the camera unless that is important to what happens.

    TED: saying safe spacers was awkward. I would prefer snowflakes or some different phrasing of the idea.

    I guess TED saying: … whatever Scott Glassman says… works although I wondered who SG was.

    IMHO you need to spell out the Andrews brothers. Are they Eric, Jeff, Dale, that have lines following their mention on the EXT SIDEWALK DAY ?

    Not sure who the market for this script would be. Mentioning Trump dates it and makes it hard to sell produce and distribute by the time it is still relevant to the audience.

  • #654158

    Anonymous

    Talking heads as in The Office, Parks and REc. AS I already indicated it’s mockumentary style.

    Ted doesn’t say that, his wife does. I think it”s a pretty straight forward joke, like 20 different people of all different ages and reading comp levels who read it got it.

    “I identify as a Christian that saved herself for marriage. So whatever Scott Glassman says is a lie.” I don’t understand what is hard to get about that. It doesn’t matter what the name she says is lol. Seriously why is that confusing?

  • #654159

    Anonymous

    “Fair points. With the conservatives I was mocking gun rights, love for law and order and patriotism, I threw some religions stuff in there. With liberals gender, being white and upper middle class while hating the white upper middle class, using minorites and just called America mean in general. Also some recent hypocrisies.”

    Okay, and I thought while reading it that maybe your aim was not as fixated so much on them being liberals or conservatives butting heads over a their PA station, but your description of it does produce a certain impression. Liberal and conservative values are quite incompatible, so any time you throw them together, it implies a likely conflict.

    Gun rights, rule of law and patriotism are all middle-ground issues with both proponents and critics pretty balanced on both sides. Polarization on the USA’s second amendment rights is mostly cosmetic, imaginary, not actually the tense controversy it is dressed up as in the media. Gender/civil rights is certainly a heavily polarized issue, being majorly supported by liberals and opposed by conservatives. But, that being the only really polarized issue in the script makes it all rather one-sided, all about that specific thing.

    I would update the description to just replace the mention of liberals and conservatives with a mention of the opposing opinions on gender rights, and then refocus the script on that, so that it gives people exactly what it promises. -OR- adjust the script to be more focused on the liberal/conservative interactions, and update the description to better reflect the content of the new script version. I am in favor of the latter, but I would not want to hijack your original creative vision for the project.

    If you go with stringifying the gender issue, maybe add some transgender and cross-gender voices on each side? There are plenty of (far-right) male women and female men who are just as peeved about people breaking out of the binary-gender-norm-standard as the rest of their group. I think a conversation between an openly transgendered person and a gender ambiguous trans-denier going at each other could be very funny.

    If you’re going to stick with the liberal/conservative theme, the characters definitely need to be flushed out better. The things I mentioned in my last reply are essentially the defining attributes of liberals and conservatives today, and your characters have nearly no representation of any of it. They seem like a mostly center-ish bunch where each of them just leans slightly one way or the other.

    Where ever it goes, more instances of direct reference to the PA station in the monologues would help it, because as it is now, it is sort of in there, but not an obviously significant aspect of the design. I also thought it was difficult to keep the character roles straight in my head (thanks plughmann for bringing it up). It made me wish for a list or table of them all preceding the script, but I don’t know how much wiggle-room you have for breaking out of the proper format that way.

    Whatever you do (if anything), I hope it turns out well. I still very much like the overall idea. 🙂

  • #654160

    Anonymous

    I have no issues posting but logging in is weird and a hassle for me sometimes.

  • #654161

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    I have no issues posting but logging in is weird and a hassle for me sometimes.

    Dont log out. If you stay logged in some problems dont happen.

  • #654162

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    Talking heads as in The Office, Parks and REc. AS I already indicated it’s mockumentary style.

    Ted doesn’t say that, his wife does. I think it”s a pretty straight forward joke, like 20 different people of all different ages and reading comp levels who read it got it.

    “I identify as a Christian that saved herself for marriage. So whatever Scott Glassman says is a lie.” I don’t understand what is hard to get about that. It doesn’t matter what the name she says is lol. Seriously why is that confusing?

    Okay. I never saw a mockumentary movie. I identify that with TV. To be fair I have only seen a couple movies in a decade now.

  • #654163

    Anonymous

    Well it is a TV pilot, that’s why it was 29 pgs. I’m pretty much the same way outside of a lot of the comedy movies I haven’t seen many movies since like the early ’00’s.

    Good to know, I’ll stay logged in.

  • #654164

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    Well it is a TV pilot, that’s why it was 29 pgs. I’m pretty much the same way outside of a lot of the comedy movies I haven’t seen many movies since like the early ’00’s.

    Good to know, I’ll stay logged in.

    Okay. For a tv pilot then it is a good start. I think that Carl Slate had some good ideas to improve it.

    29 pages may be a tad long. But the director can cut it if it would run too long to fit in commercials, station breaks, bumper , tag, etc.

  • #654165

    Anonymous

    Pilots usually run from 27-35 pages.

    The first version of this script I wrote during the height of W’s presidency and who divided we were. I scrapped it after Parks and Rec came out then pulled it back out after Trump.

    @ Carl part of my intention is we are not as divided as we come across and it’s mostly about ridiculous stuff and opposing just to oppose. I choose WV because I figured that would be a center right setting. There’s a very loud part of the country which I agree is a minority though echoed by MSM, i’m sure you’ve had to of heard about that’s very anti police/law enforcement, America/patriotism, the national anthem, etc. Am I imaging that stuff or is that like front and center in the news right now? With lots of passion on both sides. Seriously am in bizarro world or something?

    That’s way more the divide right now more than anything to do with church. Right now Liberals are denying science regarding gender. Both sides are very passionate by 2nd amendment debate now and forever really. No offense but I did have some of that stuff you mentioned when I first wrote the script like ten years ago. It felt kind of out of touch and cliche to me nowadays. When I wrote the script originally that seemed more relevant but it’s a little different times now and that stuff seemed old, hackney, out of touch and cliche. Regarding science & conservatives yeah Global Warming which I probably should’ve touched on. I had Helen make a dinosaur joke regarding evolution/science. But a lot of what you’re saying sounds like talking points and points of division of the W administration. And the conservatives do mention how pious/religious they are but maybe not enough.

  • #654166

    Anonymous

    Typical show these days is 22 minutes show in a 30 minute time segment. At a minute of page per the usual rule of thumb that would make 29 a possible stretch and 35 probably too long. If you have a reference that says I am wrong pls let me know what it is.

    There are at least 12 types of conservatives identified in Dean’s book, which is their problem. They are in power but cant agree on what to do.

    Bush was a neocon establishment person out of touch with Americans. Just like Hillary was out of touch along with the other RINOs that Trump beat to get the nomination. Both parties are out of touch which is why Trump won. He is not a politician and cares more about the USA than some party holding power. The establishment RINO neocons outfoxed themselves by not supporting Trump and his legislation per his campaign promises. Either the dems will come back strong by moving to the center , or they will go down hard by moving farther left with Bernie and fauxcohantas; in which case the goppers may barely eke out a win by being just enough less bad, unless the tea party and constitution and libertarians got together which would ensure the dems win with a plurality.

    I can see the dems holding the senate, gop barely holding congress, and and independent Trump in the white house all with different agendae assuring total gridlock except for the automatic spending increases that result from the socialist welfare programs that run on autopilot for budgets.

  • #654167

    Anonymous
    plughmann wrote:
    Typical show these days is 22 minutes show in a 30 minute time segment. At a minute of page per the usual rule of thumb that would make 29 a possible stretch and 35 probably too long. If you have a reference that says I am wrong pls let me know what it is.

    There are at least 12 types of conservatives identified in Dean’s book, which is their problem. They are in power but cant agree on what to do.

    Bush was a neocon establishment person out of touch with Americans. Just like Hillary was out of touch along with the other RINOs that Trump beat to get the nomination. Both parties are out of touch which is why Trump won. He is not a politician and cares more about the USA than some party holding power. The establishment RINO neocons outfoxed themselves by not supporting Trump and his legislation per his campaign promises. Either the dems will come back strong by moving to the center , or they will go down hard by moving farther left with Bernie and fauxcohantas; in which case the goppers may barely eke out a win by being just enough less bad, unless the tea party and constitution and libertarians got together which would ensure the dems win with a plurality.

    I can see the dems holding the senate, gop barely holding congress, and and independent Trump in the white house all with different agendae assuring total gridlock except for the automatic spending increases that result from the socialist welfare programs that run on autopilot for budgets.

    Most of the official pilot scripts go well over the one minute a page, 22 minutes of air time standard. And well over 45 for hour shows. The 3 popular mocumentary TV shows scripts all run into the 30’s. The one mine is most comparable to Parks and Rec pilot script is 43 pgs.

    You definitely have grasp of what’s going on. Wouldn’t be surprised if everything you predict is pretty much how it goes down.

  • #654168

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    Typical show these days is 22 minutes show in a 30 minute time segment. At a minute of page per the usual rule of thumb that would make 29 a possible stretch and 35 probably too long. If you have a reference that says I am wrong pls let me know what it is.

    There are at least 12 types of conservatives identified in Dean’s book, which is their problem. They are in power but cant agree on what to do.

    Bush was a neocon establishment person out of touch with Americans. Just like Hillary was out of touch along with the other RINOs that Trump beat to get the nomination. Both parties are out of touch which is why Trump won. He is not a politician and cares more about the USA than some party holding power. The establishment RINO neocons outfoxed themselves by not supporting Trump and his legislation per his campaign promises. Either the dems will come back strong by moving to the center , or they will go down hard by moving farther left with Bernie and fauxcohantas; in which case the goppers may barely eke out a win by being just enough less bad, unless the tea party and constitution and libertarians got together which would ensure the dems win with a plurality.

    I can see the dems holding the senate, gop barely holding congress, and and independent Trump in the white house all with different agendae assuring total gridlock except for the automatic spending increases that result from the socialist welfare programs that run on autopilot for budgets.

    Most of the official pilot scripts go well over the one minute a page, 22 minutes of air time standard. And well over 45 for hour shows. The 3 popular mocumentary TV shows scripts all run into the 30’s. The one mine is most comparable to Parks and Rec pilot script is 43 pgs.

    You definitely have grasp of what’s going on. Wouldn’t be surprised if everything you predict is pretty much how it goes down.

    Okay. If you have seen the other scripts then I would go by that. A rule of thumb is just a rule of thumb. I always thought it was a bit off.
    I did audio scripts and they did run 1 min/ page. I can see video with the non dialog parts being rather shorter.

    Don’t know cant say. I am not a prophet but I often see the future.

    I told everybody that Trump would win. The data was so obvious that he would in spite of all the hillary propaganda and their fake poll results which ignored the fact that it is electoral votes not popular votes to make them even more erroneous than the points they were adding to maintain morale.

    I went on the public record while teaching a class at a navy base that there were NO WMDs before the invasion of irak. Folks in the class said I was FOS because they had super secret sources they couldnt tell me about which said there were WMDs. I had enough info from open source to know baby bush was wagging the dog.

    Anybody not in denial has to know that deficit spending cant be sustained. I cant predict when the USA collapses but it will happen if they keep doing what they are doing. Trump even said he had plans to default on the USA debt and take the money from citizens savings ala the Cyprus method when they were going belly up. If not that the Chinese are backing the renmimbi with gold. They will be able to make that the world reserve currency making it impossible for the USA to keep printing funny money and making other countries accept it. And if not that then a combo of renmimbi gold and euros will do it.

    It is all spelled out in Revelation. There is a king of the east, king of the north, and a king of the south at the end, but there is no king of the west.
    When Ephraim and Manessah got their blessing the OT also indicated the USA and UK would be down and out by the time the final battle happens.

  • #654169

    Anonymous
    plughmann wrote:
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    Typical show these days is 22 minutes show in a 30 minute time segment. At a minute of page per the usual rule of thumb that would make 29 a possible stretch and 35 probably too long. If you have a reference that says I am wrong pls let me know what it is.

    There are at least 12 types of conservatives identified in Dean’s book, which is their problem. They are in power but cant agree on what to do.

    Bush was a neocon establishment person out of touch with Americans. Just like Hillary was out of touch along with the other RINOs that Trump beat to get the nomination. Both parties are out of touch which is why Trump won. He is not a politician and cares more about the USA than some party holding power. The establishment RINO neocons outfoxed themselves by not supporting Trump and his legislation per his campaign promises. Either the dems will come back strong by moving to the center , or they will go down hard by moving farther left with Bernie and fauxcohantas; in which case the goppers may barely eke out a win by being just enough less bad, unless the tea party and constitution and libertarians got together which would ensure the dems win with a plurality.

    I can see the dems holding the senate, gop barely holding congress, and and independent Trump in the white house all with different agendae assuring total gridlock except for the automatic spending increases that result from the socialist welfare programs that run on autopilot for budgets.

    Most of the official pilot scripts go well over the one minute a page, 22 minutes of air time standard. And well over 45 for hour shows. The 3 popular mocumentary TV shows scripts all run into the 30’s. The one mine is most comparable to Parks and Rec pilot script is 43 pgs.

    You definitely have grasp of what’s going on. Wouldn’t be surprised if everything you predict is pretty much how it goes down.

    Okay. If you have seen the other scripts then I would go by that. A rule of thumb is just a rule of thumb. I always thought it was a bit off.
    I did audio scripts and they did run 1 min/ page. I can see video with the non dialog parts being rather shorter.

    Don’t know cant say. I am not a prophet but I often see the future.

    I told everybody that Trump would win. The data was so obvious that he would in spite of all the hillary propaganda and their fake poll results which ignored the fact that it is electoral votes not popular votes to make them even more erroneous than the points they were adding to maintain morale.

    I went on the public record while teaching a class at a navy base that there were NO WMDs before the invasion of irak. Folks in the class said I was FOS because they had super secret sources they couldnt tell me about which said there were WMDs. I had enough info from open source to know baby bush was wagging the dog.

    Anybody not in denial has to know that deficit spending cant be sustained. I cant predict when the USA collapses but it will happen if they keep doing what they are doing. Trump even said he had plans to default on the USA debt and take the money from citizens savings ala the Cyprus method when they were going belly up. If not that the Chinese are backing the renmimbi with gold. They will be able to make that the world reserve currency making it impossible for the USA to keep printing funny money and making other countries accept it. And if not that then a combo of renmimbi gold and euros will do it.

    It is all spelled out in Revelation. There is a king of the east, king of the north, and a king of the south at the end, but there is no king of the west.
    When Ephraim and Manessah got their blessing the OT also indicated the USA and UK would be down and out by the time the final battle happens.

    You’re obviously a very experienced well informed man. What’s your thoughts on the Fed? And I don’t want to get too off the rails or out there but also regarding any possible thoughts on things like The “deep state” or “Shadow govt” and/or the more reasonable Conspiracy theories about Super powerful people/groups that exert have influence over world affairs.

  • #654170

    Anonymous
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    rljon wrote:
    plughmann wrote:
    .

    You’re obviously a very experienced well informed man. What’s your thoughts on the Fed? And I don’t want to get too off the rails or out there but also regarding any possible thoughts on things like The “deep state” or “Shadow govt” and/or the more reasonable Conspiracy theories about Super powerful people/groups that exert have influence over world affairs.

    The FED is used by govt to manipulate currency to try to keep their ponzi scheme going by printing more funny money which is the only cause of inflation.
    We need to have a gold backed dollar. When we did they couldnt spend non existent money. They would have to take it via taxes or else stop spending.
    The people would not stand for the taxes necessary so they have to create more money by printing it.
    Politicians love to spend so it wont ever stop until total collapse when everybody loses everything in their savings.
    Ron Paul had a book kill the FED. Read it for the details. The FED has no real value , and would have only a little if we did have a gold backed dollar.

    I am sure there are many groups trying to influence govt and congress to benefit them. If there is a deep state then it is just the manifestation of what govt we have that is out of control. If there is a shadow govt then it is those that make up the establishment and try to keep the govt from doing what the people want for their benefit.
    Dont confuse that with the emergency govt that is instantiated should DC get nuked taking out congress and the white house and supremes.

    There are many groups world wide, as well as rich and powerful people who only talk with themselves to try to figure out how to make things better for them.
    They have the resources to buy politicians, influence elections, and maybe even kill people although I dont see real evidence of that having happened other than the 70+ bodies found around hillary which could be coincidence andor disinformation by competing groups. I dont count KGB offing ex spies or similar things like mossad assasinating iranian nuclear scientists, allegedly.

  • #654171

    Anonymous

    Thanks, very informative. I was always fan of Ron and heard many of his comment and thoughts. Haven’t checked out the book yet though.

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