Re: Re: writing about sound

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#469922

Dee-Marie
Participant

Kirby – 2008-05-28 10:21 AM

pegs – 2008-05-27 7:12 PM

From soccer to stabbing–what a twisted tale we weave! Spring – good point about the changing sounds. Its ironic; when I looked around at all the bodies and faces, I felt deja vu. It was just like when my daughter was little and on the field. I could even see lookalike girls that reminded me strongly of her old teammates.

You are highly likely to hit bone when trying to stab someone in the heart. It’s surrounded by ribs. I have no first-hand experience with this but I’d guess it would make a noise something like—“kachunk!” Or maybe –“ker-shlock.” Hmm. Those don’t sound very scary, do they? Good thing I don’t write horror.

🙁

 

Sorry about that, Peg.  I didn’t mean to hijack your post…I was just taking a stab at it lol. I got what I needed.  But your post does make people think when writing sounds.  It’s one of the senses that can develop a scene.  Robins remind me of a spring morning.  Crickets make me think of a sleepless summer night.  Leaves on the ground rustling in the wind sound like fall.  A low rumble followed by my house shaking as the snowplow goes by brings back nightmares of last winter.

Kirby – no worries. I was kinda hoping for someone to rewrite my list so it sounded (sic) better, so as to help me become a better writer. Anyone want to take a stab (sic) at that? Anyone want to give a mini-lecture on the use of (sic)?

Here’s the list again, in case anyone would –please do!–care to improve it:

The sounds I heard were:

indistinct murmer of voices as the parents conversed among themselves

sharp intermittent chatter from the players on the fields

blasting whistles near and far from referees on the various fields

loud excited yelling from fans when a goal was scored

angry outbursts from parents who disagreed with a referee’s call

firm words of caution from the referee to a player getting out of hand

playful laughter of children brought along for the ride, not watching the games but playing together

an occasional jet overhead

whipping of my own flag when I ran

panting of my breath, same

grunts and thumps when wrestling players got close to me fighting for the ball