Re: RE: Working Title: Serendipity

Home Forums Critique Central Nonfiction Working Title: Serendipity Re: RE: Working Title: Serendipity

#526635

Dee-Marie
Participant

Norah – the reading went great. See my posting in “successes.” Thanks for asking!

I do NOT think you should reveal who the bus guy will be at this point in the story. I just wanted a little more in that scene, an indication at least of whether he was alive or dead in there!

Likewise, I don’t think you need to reveal now why the MC has trouble committing. Later, yes, since you’ve planted the seed, but I didn’t miss the explanation at this point.

My opinion.

Peg