Re: Re: Winter Time

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Winter Time Re: Re: Winter Time



“JUST a girl,” exclaims she,
“No Doubt you are talking to me. (I’m so punny)
I’ll have you know that pearls
look better when worn by girls.
If crick you have, you deserve it
Now take off those pearls you nitw….nice, that’s it, you really nice guy who hates a poem that doesn’t keep the same rhyming pattern all the way through and instead just shoots off on tangents that confuse the reader and ruin the flow and make the poem really difficult to read–and I’m not going to do it again…really…’cause I’ve grown since then. 😉

edited to say: You do know I’m just kidding, right?! Well, not about the having grown part (with unfortunate literal connotations this time of year) or about girls looking better in pearls (I totally stand by that belief…well, there was this one Hawaiian guy with a seed pearl necklace who looked pretty darned good, but that’s another story)–but about the nitwit part. It’s all your fault for making me rhyme. 😉

How about:
If crick you have, you deserve one
So take off those pearls and let’s have done.