Re: RE: Wide Awake

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Removed Re: RE: Wide Awake

#350300

megamillions
Participant

Hi Terry,
I really appreciate your honesty with me. I need to hear it when I am not portraying the thought that I want, even in my ‘offbeat’ sort of way.

“Memories of past’s future”
Is from when I was carrying my only child, and planning a future with the love of my life. He was in a horrible accident that put him in a coma for months. The “past’s future” changed, right then and there. I practically lived in that hospital, until my pregnancy came to term.

“exposing foretold pains”
I was warned not to hang on; I had to live for my newborn daughter now. She lost a parent. His brain damage was severe, and so were the crippling injuries to his body. He would go on to be in hospitals for years. I cried for that long, and then some. Later, drinking the pain away.

All of this is is going into my book…or I probably would not have explained it in such detail.
I said it that way, because it felt abrupt. I needed it to feel abrupt.

I am open to all suggestions here. I really appreciate your kind words to me Terry.
I have to think about this some more.
Thank you so much. 🙂