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Let’s both go on a crazy ride into the past 26 years of my life a moment. When I was fifteen years old, in highschool, I was a cheerleader, played basketball and was the ancor leg to every relay we had because I was very fast. I was running, finishing, and winning the mile relay for our team when I collapsed after stepping over the finish line and winning. An ambulance had to drive on the track to pick me up and take me to the hospital because I had heart problems. I ended up having a heart procedure done. Not open heart surgery, but by going through my grorin area on each side with cathiders that had tiny lasers at the end of them, the wonderful doctor went all the way up to my heart and oblated the extra vein which was causing me to have sudden rapid heart beats my knocking the normal beat of the heart and it’s rythym out of wack. It was a success and I haven’t had any “heart” problems since. I did however, shortly after, run into another problem that would totally and utterly affect anything and everyhting in my life even five years after being out and having graduated from highschool. This problem had a name and it was Dustin. He was the bad boy that most young girls for some odd reason are interested in pursueing, and that is what I did after noticing him. Well soon after that I dropped out of cheerleading and pretty much was in a sort of hynotized state by this person. He ended up getting kicked out of school for being the ring leader for suspected drugs and users throughout the highschool. I did amazingly manage to graduate, but shortly after I did became addicted to pill that he was and had been giving me for some time. Yes, I chose to take them and realize now that I made a terrible and very bad choice with many after that followed. He was also very abusive and I guess because in my messed up lttle head , I thought I was going to be the girl that changed him, right? No, and I totally agree with the saying ” The negative will rub off on the positive, before the positive rubs off on the negative”. After a couple of years of just aimlessly floating around with no certain direction but whatever one he was going and or dodging from which direcition the next fist would come from, he ended up going to prison for Forgery of Prescription Drugs for two and a half years leaving me to only just be already so out their on the drugs that I only copied how I had for so long seen him act by fighting and just living a life of total chaos. Literally not knowing or even caring at the time whether I lived to see the next day or not, by the power of God and it just not being my time to go yet, I managed to overcome siezures, which I started having after Dustin was gone. According to the EEG ran the siezures were coming from an abnormality on the left side of my brain do to a hard blow to the side of my head. I know exactly which incident it was because my mother took me to the hospital after a failed attempt to cover the swelling knot that came from him hitting me with hist fist on my left temple. He had a ring on and that is why it was as bad as it was. I started taking Depicot, then Topamax for the reacurring seizures and mind you still being addicted to the other things I was taking…pills, alchohol, etc. After a hard night of partying with one of my girlfriends, I dropped her off at her house and turned left on a road to serious distruction. You see a railroad crossed this certain road I was driving down and the blinking lights weren’t working and were broken at the time. You can probably imagine or maybe by describing you can imagine the event that followed. I hit the train while it was going traveling around fiftey miles an hour. I did not have my seat belt on and my head went through the windsheild and as the car jerked my head back in after stopping, the windsheild pilled back my forehead in a U shape form barely missing my right eye and only midley cutting my other eye. The front end of my car was caught under the train and drug the car with me in it down the track as it tried to stop. I flat lined for round about thirty seconds after the people and the jaws of life got me out of the vehicle and by performing CPR revived me and made it possible for me to have a pulse again. The good thing , though, is that I must have blacked out or had a seizure before hitting the train because thank heavens I dont remember any of the wreck. I only remember waking up in the hospital not knowing what happened as the Police called my parents in the middle of the night to tell them that their daughter had hit a trian. WOW! Can you imagine what they thought they were going to see when driving to the hospital? They already didn’t sleep good at night because they told me ” they were always wondering where I was and if I was okay or if I was even alive.” They had already put me in rehab from my pill addiction twice and it obviously failed to rid me of this horrible addiction that led me to lterally be a hell raising, fighting, and angry, lashing out teenager. But my parents never failed me. They never gave up on me and I am so glad. A plastic surgean was called to meet us at the hospital to sew me up and following two more plastic surgeries on my forehead, you have to look closely to even see the scar now. So after this I was in serveral other wrecks and went to jail for Minor In Possesion of Alchohol and Public Intoxication a few times, because I was only around 18 years old. So during this destructive life that I was living from day to day I got word that Dustin was getting out in a few days and stupidly made the mistake of riding with his family to pick him up and to reunite with him. See he had been writing to me while in prison telling me how he had changed because he was off the drugs and all he had time to do was think and read the bible and so on , and so on. Ofcourse either my being still so gulable or just the simple fact of wanting it so badly to be true I bellieved him and we got back together and I became pregnant only a couple of weeks after he got out. Well, since I thought it was the drugs that made Dustin so violent and angry towards me and he was no longer on drugs, and I quit as well do to being pregnant, we moved in together and both got jobs and attempting and actually for a short period of time led a pretty normal life. He eventually was abusive again and I realized that it was just him and not the drugs making him this way because he was no longer on them. My pregnancy was pure hell and about three months after the birth of our son Blade, I realized I might allow myself to be treated this way but was never going to allow my son to be around any violence that came with this unhealthy relationship and I packed our things and moved into an apartment with a friend of mine from work. We lived there for three years and raised our kids. She ended up moving in with her boyfriend at the time and my sister moved back from Houston and moved in with us for about a year and then Hurricane Rita came and we had to evacuate and upon returning finding our apartment a complete disaster along with many other things and places throughout the whole town. I am currently , with my son who is now five, living back with my parents and working two jobs to try and bounce back from all of the bad decisions that I made and the consequences that followed and try and make it the exact opposite for my son in how I raise him, and I am. I do let Dustin see him every other weekend because he is very good and has a very close relationship with Blade. I guess it was just me he couldn’t love and make things work with and that is what it is. I don’t recieve child support from him yet and he already owes so much back child support that he’ll probably never catch up but I can honestly tell you that I am a survivor of many obstacles that were in my path and some that I put infront of myself, and also know that it just isn’t and wasn’t with every chance that I kept getting my time to go, and even though I don’t really know just yet my purpose in this life I know I am supposed to be hear. In conclusion to the shortest version I could explain of my life, I might only be twenty six, and might not have experience in certain areas, but I have been through more than an average person’s life and anything they will ever experience, which allows me to write different and maybe not proper or in the right form, but that is something that I can learn to do over time but most people will never experience or go through the messed up things in my life to learn from over time to make their writing as unique and from the learning of the experience and how it shapes and molds you into a different person , thus allowing you to think and look at things differently and express them through writing in a different way. You probably didn’t think when I told you to take a ride with me on a journey through my life that it was going to be such a long and very bumpy ride, did you?