I am pretty good with words; I was born with the talent of talking. I have sent the biggest bullies running away with tears running from their faces. I have talked myself into jobs, out of fights and all around survived on how well my mouth and brain can perform together. And I am good at it.
I usually do not even think twice about attention seeking morons at a show. But this guy is something. He is sitting in the back with his large hat. Damn I wish I could see his face. I happen to see the bartender shake his head and go into the back room. I hope he doesnt bring out a shotgun. Remember that one, I think there is a joke there somewhere. I tell myself.
The lights are too bright but I shouldnt be sweating this much. Besides I am killing the crowd. Everyone is even keeping up to my pace and the moron doesnt seem to be bugging any of them. I have done this too many times to be all wound up like this from this one guy. I cannot believe that no one is telling this guy to shut up and sit down, or, beating his ass.
Obviously he has had too much to drink either that or he has a real bad lisp. I have done some stupid things while drinking but I think this guy passed up my worst performance ever about three or four outbursts ago.
While I am setting another joke up the bartender comes from out back with the owner, the man with the money. I see the bartender pointing from me to the moron while talking to the owner. Thank God they are going to toss him out. The two continue talking, the owner puffing on a cigar looking at the moron.
All of a sudden I realize if they toss him out I will not be able to get back at him in front of this crowd, the one that he embarrassed me in front of. I cant let that happen. I am going to nail this guy I just have to think for a minute how I am going to do that so I wave the owner off.
As my time on stage comes to an end I have in mind what I am going to do. I walk off the front of the stage and go directly to the back row. He is still sitting. My observation skills are great from the years of looking for things to laugh about and I notice this fool is in a hunting uniform. My mind is just bubbling with cuts to nail him with.
As I approach he looks up directly at me and I realize Elmer Fudd is staring back at me. I am not sure what happened in those next few moments. I do know that I havent been able to speak since that day and my stay at the insane asylum was not fun.