Re: RE: The Exposed

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#526822

sukecal
Participant

I think this a cute idea.

This is just me, but when I read long poems that have no stanza breaks….I feel smothered….like too much information is attempting to enter my brain from the page.

I also found that you repeated the ideas again…exposed….naked….over and over again.

What did I like? The personification of the razor. Simply brilliant.

“But the razor sits on the sink.
With a cunning heart, it never blinks”

Can’t you just see that cold-hearted razor sitting there….formulating its devious plan to shave more hair away….what a Nazi implement indeed!

Think of breaking the poem up in stanzas, Jason.

Good idea though.

Tp 🙂