Just created this.. Hmmm? Revision suggestions? I wanted to take out the subjective I. That is why parts sound kind of awkward.. For instance I could have said, ‘I tried to capture its essence’.. I am trying to decide which way conveys more meaning to a prospective reader.. Should there be a subjective I as in ‘I’ tried to capture its essence or, deluding ‘me’ with visions of immortality? Also am trying to decide about the beginning, should it be ‘in the corner’ or ‘around the corner’? So comments and critiques are welcome..
The theme concerns the realization that our biological form is born to die, and the creator/ writer using that realization to create something that is more permanent.. like a car, an idea, a poem.. but no matter how much the creator tries, can they become immortal? That is what is asked and contemplated in this piece..