Re: RE: The Awakening

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#352953

ajmiz827
Participant

Beautiful sentiment and observation!

The only thing I might offer by way of a suggestion:
Take out “girl” from the line,

“Beside the sweet girl of my dreams,”

and it becomes,

Beside the sweet of my dreams,

To allude to your girl is to bring her life, but to refer to her is to make her ordinary…or something like that. I think it was Shakespeare? Somebody help…