Re: RE: Spring

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Spring Re: RE: Spring

#354139

lesawrites
Participant

Hi PearlCescent –

I quite liked this; very moving, poignant.

The poem is written in an interesting format, two poems in one. I found the parens somewhat distracting, and wondered if maybe removing them and putting the enclosed text into italics might soften, as well as give us the inner monologue of the narrator. I read through a couple of times, looking for the reference to the title, then realized you meant the verb (‘to spring’) or the coiled metal thingy, not the season. Or maybe you did.

Not sure what “the doctors lay his chain” means.

I really liked the last stanza, especially the closing “I crashed headlong into life.”

Peace, Linda