PSC – 2008-11-10 12:33 PM Such a sad, dark tale, NorEaster — very painful and tragic. You’ve worked so much detail and back-story into it, that I’m not sure if it is a long poem — or an abbreviated short story. Some excellent things in here though — the description of the relationship with wife, his vacillation & meandering thoughts — some very good stuff, and very sad.
Actually, it was a short story, but I felt it as a poem once I was done with it and read it to my wife. So, I diced it up according to the cadence I felt when reading it, and took out extraneous words where I didn’t need them.
I’m reading Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 right now, and I’m tempted to do the same – in my mind – with it. The man’s prose is like music. Staccato repeats and silky glissando phrases bending impossibly before pitching forward, tumbling again like so many unlikely stutters tossed down the cellars stairs. I read him when I was ten and didn’t get it. I’m glad I decided to give him a second chance.
Thanks for the comments.