Hello again, 🙂
Thanks so much for taking the time to give this great advice! I was beginning to wonder if I really needed to keep saying the whole “he said” “she said” thing or if it was too redundant so thank you for clearing that up for me. 🙂 I am happy to know that it’s at least more noticeable that my story is like a manga from this chapter, but you definitely bring up good points on how different novels and mangas actually are.
As far as the “head hopping” goes since this is my first book, you’re right, I should probably steer clear from it for the time being. I might be able to tell the story from one of the main character’s points of view. I have always been a movie and shows over books person and switched careers since animation wasn’t for me (think I mentioned) so I’ve never been a huge reader, but I knew going into writing that I’d need to start. The list you provided is very helpful so thank you much for that as well. Will definitely give those books a read and I’m sure they’ll be helpful! ^_^
Ah, yes, that sounds like a good book too! I could definitely use the writing exercises. 🙂 Thanks again for all your help and constructive criticism. I knew that manga and novels were different, but I guess I didn’t realize just how different. 😆