Re: RE: Me and Mary Tyler Moore

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#503868

Dee-Marie
Participant

Maghe – Nice, engaging memoir piece! Saturday nights at your house sound like they were lots of fun.

I’m going to make one suggestion, and this is just from my personal preference as a reader, so feel free to “circular file” it. I like it when the personal details about the writer are revealed to me slowly, within the context of the story. For example, when you said, “plopped my scrawny butt on the floor” I loved that, and I think that kind of writing is more effective than saying “I was a skinny kid.”

My suggestion is to try starting the piece with the second paragraph, and then finding ways to insert the information from the first paragraph into the rest of the piece, in the same way as you did the butt plopping. 

Or not.

🙂

Thanks for sharing.

Peg