The other day the strangest thing happened to me. Alex and I went to this restaurant. You know the restaurant; you can see the sign from the freeway. Nice place. Alex had the surf and turf, and I had the eggplant parmesan. Decent meal. Good Service. We were talking about the days events, and troubles at work. After a whole bottle of wine we felt really good. All-in-all it was a good night.
When the bill came, we both made a mad dash for it, and of course I won. Dont worry, I got it. I opened up the black cushioned booklet. I was totally taken aback when I saw that the total was zero. I look at my watch that said three minutes to nine and look back at the receipt that said, I get off at nine. Meet me outside. I looked around for our waitress, but she was nowhere to be found. Did she know that it would be me that was going to pick up the bill? Maybe it was meant for Alex. How was I supposed to know? What am I supposed to do?
Alex got up, Im going to the restroom.
Alright, Ill meet you outside in ten minutes or so. I say.
Alex disappears behind the restroom sign. I get up and rush passed the hostess table leaving the booklet there, and as Im half running out the doors, there are police cars everywhere. Seven I think. There is my waitress all in tears. She is talking to a cop and pointing to me. Holy Shit! I stop dead in my tracks and my mouth drops.
Dine and dash, huh? Officer Dingleberry said with and ass full of conceit.
What? I replied, Im sorry officer, I dont know what you are talking about.
Youre telling me that when you were just running out them doors you werent trying to dine and dash. He started to lower his radio that inadvertently spurted out seven Mary nine. This young lady over here said that you disappeared for about ten minutes and left the bill without paying it.
I can not believe that! I exclaim. I was going to pay for my dinner, but the meal was free.
–Because you were dining and dashing, huh? He combs his long thick mustache. Step over by the car.
No! with disbelief, I didnt do anything.
Are you resisting? Half laughing.
No! I still couldnt believe this was happening.
Oh, this is going to be fun.. He pulls out his nightstick and jumps on top of me. Up against the car!
Before I knew it, my arms were bent in a pretzel, my thumbs were bent and hurting, and a knee was shoved up my ass. He kept kicking my feet further apart and slapped the handcuffs. He put his hand on my head so I would hurt it on the way inside the cop car. You have the right to remain silent Blah, blah blah!
Alex comes strolling out, Good one, huh?