Home › Forums › Writer’s Digest Forum › Take it Outside! › Let your “yes” be “yes,” and your “no’ be “maybe”? › Re: RE: Let your “yes” be “yes,” and your “no’ be “maybe”?
vade mecum – 2008-05-30 12:49 AM
Gooblink – 2008-05-29 11:53 AM
Heaven help me. I let my piano teacher (who is also a friend of mine) talk me into performing at a recital on Saturday.
What was I thinking? I’m old. I’m not good. Why do we – I assume at least ONE of you can relate – make commitments that we later regret?
Actually I did say no, several times, but I really must have meant maybe because in the end I said yes.
I understand your problem completely. You really did mean “no” but the constant wear on your nerves, combined with guilt feelings, was enough to change your answer–even though it didn’t change your mind about the situation. The same thing happens to me nearly every day. I believe it comes from the conditioning we receive as parents. Those who are dearest to us know our weaknesses, and use them to their advantage. Strangers may think “no” really means “no” but family and friends have seen us give in under pressure. For example, on my birthday my teenage daughter asked to go somewhere to spend the night. It was already 11pm, and she had school the next day. I said no 3 times, refused to discuss it, told her to leave me alone (I’ve been sick for over a month), and then she says: “But Mom, it’s the last night I will be a high school senior, and me and my friends thought it would be cool to spend it together. And I didn’t leave earlier because I wanted to sing Happy Birthday to You when we gave you the cake. And I was the only one who bought you a present…”
I gave her the car keys. After she left, I remembered that we had the cake at 7pm, and she owes me money.
What a great MOM STORY. You are right, your closest family and friends will always know just the right buttons to push. Make sure you save that story for when your daughter has HS kids.