Ann Emmert Abbott
Sorry, Dale, try to ignore the snottiness.
To elaborate on what I meant is that we all have ideas for novels, so opinions about anyone else’s conception is as worthless as the idea itself. The idea becomes worth something when the novel, or at least a synopsis, is written.
So, I repeat, have you written the novel? Furthermore, is what you posted indeed just your idea for the story or a synopsis for which you’d like a critique? I can’t be much help there, because I don’t appreciate fantasy and I’m especially turned off by made-up names. As soon as I see them, my eyes glaze over.
Good luck in getting better feedback!