Oh, Pat, I understand how hard this is for you. And I think the most important thing is to allow yourself and your son and daughter-in-law to acknowledge that this is real, and it’s okay to grieve. It’s not a fantasy that didn’t work out. There was a real baby, there was a life that everyone wanted to welcome into the family. From the moment we know a new baby is expected, love develops for that child. Hopes and dreams for the future arise, and our love and expectations blossom and develop along with the baby.
My daughter miscarried several years ago, between her first and second child, and she still goes to the cemetery and allows herself to talk about Baby Stephen. Her children have been told that they had a little brother who is in heaven.
It’s painful to go through loss, but if it’s not allowed, that pain gets pushed inside and comes back to bite you later.
Allowing your daughter-in-law to share openly and without embarrassment how she feels is the most soothing balm you can give right now. Just love her and be there for her.
And, Pat, I am truly sorry for your loss and I pray for your aching heart. Love to you. Riv