Re: Re: High Schooler Writing for High Schoolers; My First Novel

Home Forums Critique Central YA Fiction High Schooler Writing for High Schoolers; My First Novel Re: Re: High Schooler Writing for High Schoolers; My First Novel

#525564

grob
Participant

Hi,
I hope you don’t mind me reading your beginning, because I am not a teen or a college student. (I have some of them! ha ha) I like this very much. I suggest reading the piece aloud to hear the flow. I think it might be a bit wordy in spots and that slows the energy of the story. I like your characters and you have done a good job with letting your reader know who they are. I have one problem with the story being placed in the future, it sounds as though it takes place here and now. You might need to rethink this, or adjust everyday things like setting, food, how things are run, etc. Keep up the good work!!!
D