Oh my God, Don…
what hast thou unleached? Are the cobwebs of my mind coming forth to haunt me? OR, has the the web of my hidden past been tampered with? But then go ahead, blast away, I’ve been spider bitten before. But, ere I go, let me but tell one more spider tale.
It was a long time ago, when my children were young and so was I.(Yipes, when was that?) It was close to Halloween and I bought a pumpkin for the children to carve. When the project was through, we placed it in the flower garden out front for all to see. The next morning, I went to check the pumpkin only to find that a HUGE black widow spider had spun a web from our pumpkin to one of the flowers. That sucker was so ominus looking as it glared at me, and the web so big, I had no idea how I would destroy it, for the children’s safety, you understand. Uh hmmm!!! Let me tell you, the hair of my arms and legs are standing out now just to think of that monster. Still I was so fascinated it was like being transfixed, especially when a huge bee flew into the web. Now for sure I thought, Wonderbar, Fabulous, my hero the huge bumble bee will sting the spider to death and I won’t have to worry about getting rid of the hideous arachnid. As I stood absolutely spellbound, the damn spider attacked the bee and the two began the fight of the 20th century. Oh, the bee fought valiantly, but I’ll be cramned if the bane of my existence won the bloody fight. So I was left now, with again getting rid of the monster. Off to the shed I went, we were living in the city now, no more outhouse, and got a huge board. I slammed that sucker spider so hard it’s innerds splached all over my pumpkin. By that time, I was so mad, I even smashed the pumpkin, as I was not about to wash spider innerds off of it. YUCCY. So there you have another one of my ugly spider stories. Do you think because I hate them so much, they are attracted to me? Guess I better beware Halloween is coming again.
So go ahead, bring on the spiders, I’ll smash ’em all.