Re: Re: Haiku practice (for fun) and attempt at a Quatrain

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Haiku practice (for fun) and attempt at a Quatrain Re: Re: Haiku practice (for fun) and attempt at a Quatrain



At first, I thought that haikus were a simplistic form of poetry, but now see them as a very powerful art form. They capture a single moment in the same way a good photograph does, leaving the mind to ponder much more than is initially apparent on the surface. When I wrote Sleeping in Sunlight, I was trying to capture the image, the feeling, of an empty school playground I was walking past one summer. I was literally assaulted by several images and feelings….I could almost hear the laughter of the children no longer there, could almost see their ghost like images running around…it was a forlorn feeling of yesterdays lost. Instead of describing the empty swing sets, merry-go-rounds, and seesaws, etc, I tried to suck the feelings from the image and ended up with:

Absence of laughter
The children no longer there,
to tread summer grass

You’ll notice this particular haiku (the first one I’d ever written) follows the hard and fast 5-7-5 variation and clearly conveys the season, but I am not always so strict in my style. Knowing the rules, I sometimes bend them, as long as the overall structure (second line is longer than the first or last, with a break after the first or second line, etc) and purpose remain true. Btw, I commented further in the thread you created.