Oh, how could I forget So I married an Axe Murderer:
Tony: So who’s in this Pentavirate?
Stuart: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!”
Charlie: Dad, how can you hate “The Colonel”?
Stuart: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!
Harriet: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie: No, I think it’s repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Charlie: You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it’s called F**k You. It’s mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they’re on the ground.
Charlie: It’s like Campbell’s Cup-O’-ccino!
Stuart: I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.
Charlie: Harriet. Harry-ette. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher.