Jaleh, you most definitely are a real writer!
We all have ups and downs when we are not sure about writing. It’s a never ending struggle to keep the faith. I think of it as a marriage – there’s that intense honeymoon period, that bopping along nicely in harmony with the world, that slowly drifting apart when you feel like you’re both changing and you don’t know what you want, the pain of separation, making up again, the second honeymoon. The books are your kids. And it goes on and on.
You’re growing as a writer and it’s a good thing. Good luck on getting that project finished by the New Year!