This is my newest rewrite.. I am starting to toy around with the idea of the sacrifice of the sun.. bringing in night.. I don’t know how much that changes the nature of the poem? Does it turn it into something dark? What kind of imagery is conveyed to the reader when I say, ‘last rays of day bleed into blushing evening’? The poem was not originally meant to be dark.. only surreal.. Also I am wondering if I need ‘invoke?’ (should I have wizard invokes?) Part of me would like to have it there to bring in the idea of the poet being a participant in this scene and creating the surrealistic nuances.. out of the ordinary scene of dusk..