right now you have generic agent bait, and whenever I read this kind of bait, I’m thinking competing work problem. I’d make it trully personalized or do without.
I can’t help much right now, I’m not sure what your book is about. All you have are cliches. you haven’t really told us what happens. “things unravel” “relationships are ruined” “secrets are revealed” ” lives are broken.” etc. This describes a lot of books, but I have no idea what your book is about. Are diamonds stolen, her grandmother is a bookie, she’s trying to pay off bad loans. What????? Give us details, tell us what exactly your book is about.